Blind Item Meditations on Kabbalah and Revenge

As a regular subscriber, I just received Gwyneth Paltrow's latest online Newsletter, Goop. It's proven to be a juicy little bit of reading!

Although she's a celebrated actor', I've always found that Gwyneth's true talent lies in her ability to display 'I'm a regular mom like you and we're all in this together' commiseration while reminding you of her utter superiority. The woman offers us lesser moms recipes for sushi-grade tuna steak (sandwiches) for her children. No Chicken of the Sea for Apple and Moses!

Seems she's also an efficient multi-tasker.

In GOOP's latest issue, Gwyneth steps it up a notch and through a blind item within the context of the spiritual nature of schadenfreude outs her former BFF (warning! Conjecture ahead!) Winona Ryder as a frenemy' who was hell-bent on taking me down. Love it!

Anyone gossiper worth her salt knows the source of the Paltrow-Ryder feud. Old (by old I mean 1990s) Hollywood legend has it that Winona had possession of an early script of "Shakespeare In Love" and was set to audition for the role that later won Gwyneth her (first-and-only) Academy Award. Winona let it leak that Gwyneth stole the script from her coffee table, thus ending the friendship and leading Gwyneth to her reaction of deep relief andhappiness upon learning that this former BFF had suffered something unfortunate and humiliating.

Ms. Paltrow-Martin is a clever lady. In a three-paragraph blog, she's reminded us of Winona's evil ways (say goodbye to your comeback, W); defended her new BFF Madonna (again, conjecture, mea culpa) by scolding us for perpetuating the use of the evil tongue' through our purchase of tabloids featuring negative stories on a certain famous British couple'; and taught all of us lesser mortals a lesson in spirituality gleaned from her extensive study of Kabbalah.

Thanks for the lesson,Gwyneth. One other thing: Well played..very well played.

By Andrea Corlett