Paris Hilton Kicked Off Yacht For Getting It On

So Much For Wanting To Be Like Princess Diana

In the latest "why is she famous again?" news, Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt made headlines at the Cannes Film Festival.

No, not for any of their great film work, (they don't actually do anything), but rather for getting kicked off a boat for trying to have sex in the bathroom, thus continuing to prove to the world that money can not buy class.

The couple were invited to a private yacht party by David Furnish, Elton John's husband, where according to a snitch, "As soon as Paris arrived she had her tongue down Doug's throat. Everyone kept saying how inappropriate they were being but Paris didn't care who was looking."

We really should get combat pay for reporting on P. Hilt's skanky activities. Or at least get free vaccines for every article over 150 words, just in case her chronic case of famewhore-itis is contagious.

The collective retching only stopped when Paris and Doug made their way below deck to reenact scenes from A Night in Paris, but David stopped them as they were
about to close the bathroom door. What, wasn't there a Hilton hotel in the area they could have gone to!? That'll teach David never to make the mistake of inviting her anywhere again.

When the captain found out, he kicked them off the boat for unsociable behavior to what we assume was thunderous applause.

See, this clarifies why Nicky Hilton, "the other sister," is practically invisible. She's not about to disown herself from the family and lose out on of all that hotel cash so staying out of camera range is the next best thing.

When her granddad is reviewing his will, Nic will totally be in the clear when the 10 tons of photographic and video evidence are brought in against Paris. We think this latest stunt should cost her about, what, $15 million or so? Which is a bargain really when you think what the Captain of the SS STD could ask for in damages if he had walked in on them en flagrante. Horror.

Someone should give the captain a medal, but next time just throw them overboard. With all the rocks in their heads, they'll hopefully sink to the bottom of the ocean.

But, in fairness to Paris, she's not exactly the brightest star in the celebrity circle. She was on the boat, saw a door with a sign on it that said head and simply followed instructions. She's really not to blame. Clearly, that whole "No Child Left Behind" thing missed one.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends. From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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