Let's Hope This Doesn't Give K-Fed Any Ideas

Eminem's comeback has been met with a big fat "who the hell cares?" but fear not. There's a new white chap with attitude getting into the rap game.

That's right, Spencer Pratt, the self-proclaimed "Great White," is following in the barely listenable musical foosteps of his reality TV bride Heidi Montag and attempting to bust out some flow on the m-i-c.

Just when you think Pratt couldn't be a bigger douche, he suddenly double-douches down. The aptly named wannbe be wannabe somehow found the time to record his magnum rap opus while filming a new TV show with his new missus, called, "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!"

Ah, nice less-than-subtle plea to make this ditty the theme song of his next fame-grubbing reality show. But Pratt should know that the best rappers draw from their own real-life experiences. So something like "Will Rap For Food" Or "I Have No Shame" would be more apt. And no, we will not call you "Great White." Royal D-Bag works though.

And our fingers are crossed that Pratt won't copy his wifey's penchant for starring in cheesy homemade videos in skimpy swimwear. Yikes!

If you're a glutton for punishment, you can listen to Pratt's rap skills here or check out a sampling of the vomit-inducing lyrics:

Baby, I get paid, I don't volunteer
I'm a celebrity, get me out of here
I've been on TV, I'm on the Internet,
I've been around the world, but still I'm not finished yet

Kinda makes you miss the days of Vanilla Ice doesn't it? At least he had a wicked bass line and a short-lived fashion trend in hedge-like hair.

Pratt, who says he's the "White Jay-Z" tells Extra: I honestly think I'm a better rapper than anyone else in the game.

He adds, "I think I'm the future of hip-hop. You know, I feel bad for saying that. That's unfortunate, but that's a fact. You can't compare my model of hip-hop with what I'm about to come out with versus anything in the game. You know I'll take the Diddy route. I'm not a lyrical MC, I'm just like Diddy. Look what it did for him? He is still balling."

Pratt's song, and his swagger, are so bafflingly obnoxious and asinine that we can't help but wonder whether he's in on the joke. Is he pulling a Joaquin Phoenix?

We'd like to say that this guy doesn't have a chance in hell of having a rap career, but he's already come shockingly far without any actual talent . . . so, who knows.

But we trust Jay-Z will retaliate with a good old fashioned rap feud for Pratt's comments. Them's fightin' words! And where's Kanye West's all-cap rant that he's "one of the greatest rappers in the world?" If Pratt doesn't get an ass-whipping, everyone in hip-hop is a punk.

Yeah, we said it.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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