Russell Crowe Takes Gossip Columnist For A Ride

* Oh no he di' n't! Continuing his "Please Buy My Music" media tour, Chris Brown took a swing at Oprah for dedicating a domestic violence episode of her show to Rihanna. He said on Larry King, "I commend Oprah on being like, 'This is a problem,' but it was a slap in my face. I did a lot of stuff for her, like going to Africa and performing for her school. She could have been more helpful, like, 'Okay, I'm going to help both of these people out.'" Brown better be looking over his shoulder. Seriously, has anyone seen or heard from Stedman in like nine years? He's
probably buried out back of the Harpo Studios between a couple of old cocker spaniels...

* Michael Jackson was FINALLY laid to rest last Thursday more than two months after his death, but it turns out his family, especially brother Randy, is unhappy the media intruded on the "private" funeral service that was held at Forest Lawn Cemetery. A "private" ceremony that was being filmed for an upcoming A&E reality TV series, mind you. Clearly they want to keep all the exploitation for themselves.

* Because collagen is expensive, Lindsay Lohan is mulling over an almost one million dollar offer to get naked for Playboy. Suckers. Don't they know she'd do it for the spare change in their pockets and some expired prescription meds with minimal street value?

* And in more Lindsay news ... the sometime actress came up with her own way to audition for her favorite show, HBO's True Blood. To show her devotion to the series, she put on some fangs and did her best vampire pose for photos she posted on her Twitter account. Anyone else have the feeling Linds' next move is Twitter spamming everyone some "for just $100 down, you can learn to monetize your tweets" Ponzi scheme crap?

* Cate Blanchett went right back to work after she took a prop to the back of the head during a live performance, pretty much making Jeremy Piven look like the world's biggest, balding baby.

* Kate Hudson and A-Rod have reportedly already moved in together, and she wants to get married. Because that's exactly what a guy who just settled a trillion dollar divorce wants to jump back into. Then again, he slept with Madonna, so what's one more horrible decision?

* Actor Taye Diggs and his wife Idina Menzel welcomed their first child, a son they named Walker. Damn, if that kid can't sing or act, it will be a bigger embarrassment than if Shiloh was born unattractive.

* Ouch! Our uterus just screamed in horror. Michelle Duggar and her hubby Jim Bob are adding to their massive child army, announcing on the Today show that they are expecting baby #19 in the spring. Michelle's uterus raised the white flag of surrender after #10 but no one was paying attention. All of the Duggars' 18 children have names starting with the letter J, and Michelle says the family has already printed up a list of J names for boys and girls that they haven't used yet. How about
"JUSTSTOPHAVINGBABIESALREADY Duggar"?

* In the latest issue of French Marie Claire, Demi Moore claims that she's never had plastic surgery, calling rumors she's spent $3 million on new parts "completely false" and saying, "I've never had it done." Hmm, we think the boobs she got for Striptease -- and forgot to return -- would disagree.

* Is Jennifer Aniston looking a bit bustier in the chest area? Italian mag Grazia is reporting that Jen got Macrolane injections, a relatively new alternative to breast implants in which hyaluronic acid is injected into the breast and then molded
into shape. The procedure takes about an hour, lasts about 12 months and offers an increase up to one full cup size. Finally, Jen's figured out that the best way to detract from a boring personality is to bring as much focus as possible onto your boobs.

* Russell Crowe challenged Aussie reporter Annette Sharp to a 20K bicycle duel after she made fun of his, uh, fitness regime in one of her articles in the local paper. The paper mocked Crowe after he was photographed pausing during a recent bike ride with his personal trainer to puff on a cigarette and chow down on three tacos and a soft drink. Crowe's spokesman called Sharp the next day and said, Get on your bike. Russell wants you to go riding with him. Are you ready to die? Then he added, If you find yourself alone, riding in the green fields with the sun on your face, do not be troubled. For you are in Elysium, and you're already dead! Mwah ha ha ha hah!

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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