Avril Lavigne Dumps Her Sk8er Boi

* Leave it to Chris Brown to turn court mandated community service into a photo shoot. "Check out my outfit," Brown said in an afternoon 'tweet' that included a picture of himself in his work duds. So much for being punished. The only lesson he seems to be learning so far is how to strike a pose. But if Brown is out clearing weeds from police stables, then that's time he can't spend dressing up in a ludicrous bowtie and blurting out a succession of legitimately stupid soundbites about the attack on television.

* Khloe Kardashian has finally figured out how to upstage her knocked up sister Kourtney. Khloe and Lamar Odom of the Lakers have only been dating for about a month and are reportedly already engaged. What will Kim do? One sister knocked up, one getting married, she's going to have to make another sex tape to compete. Damn sibling rivalry ...

* Lindsay Lohan apparently thinks she actually has a career that warrants diva behavior. She copped an attitude at the G-Star runway show, refusing to pose for photos and later decided she wasn't happy with the seating arrangements. "She began taking the seating cards for celebrities like Juliette Lewis and Christian Siriano and moving them or throwing them on the floor," said a source. When an event producer approached her, Lohan responded, "Don't [bleep]ing touch me," and "rolled her eyes and continued moving the place cards." Which begs the question: What possesses somebody to think "You know who will be a huge draw? That redheaded chick who hasn't done a decent movie in forever." You could pull a homeless guy off the street and get more star power and poise. Plus, only half the amount of purses and jewels would be stolen for crack.

* Add getting a father-to-be fired to Michael Vick's list of offenses. The Philadelphia Eagles cut Kendra Wilkinson's husband Hank Baskett just months before the two are due to have a baby boy to make room for the dogfight lover. We're sure it's just a
coincidence that Jessica Simpson's pooch Daisy went missing just as Hank got pink-slipped. Yep. Totally not related. Probably.

* Still more Lindsay Lohan shenanigans ... The bound for rehab (any day now) actress was kicked out of her hotel after getting into an epic fight with a door. She reportedly had a blowup fight with Sam Ronson and threw a room-service tray at what she thought was her girlfriend's door. One problem though, she threw it at the wrong door which resulted in Linds being escorted off the premises. We're shocked. Simply shocked. Stunned even ... Lindsay Lohan can afford room service?!

* According to Page Six, Suzanne Somers believes chemotherapy is what really killed Patrick Swayze. A cancer survivor herself, Summers said, "They took a beautiful man and put poison in his body." She adds, "Why couldn't they have built him up nutritionally and gotten rid of the toxins? . . . I hate to be this controversial . . . but I have to speak out." Funny, we thought it was advanced pancreatic cancer that killed him, but then we don't have a book about cancer coming out next month so what
do we know?

* Kate Gosselin's time on "The View" is evidently an audition for her own talk show with cooking queen Paula Deen. Gosselin told Entertainment Weekly about four months ago she has hopes of landing a talk show. "There are no mom-centered talk shows," she told the magazine. "I think that would be a very comfortable thing for me." Here's what we don't get about Kate Gosselin: She does all these book tours, speaking engagements, etc. to empower women and now she's landing a talk show, but seriously, what the hell is Kate actually empowering women to do? Squeeze out multiple kids for a giant paycheck and buzzing your hair in the back because it's not just for lesbians anymore?

* Taylor Swift may write a song about being Kanye'd by Kanye West at the VMAs, which would result in a hip hop beef on par with LL Cool J and Canibus, but not on par with, say, Jay-Z and Nas. Because this one's a no-brainer: Swift will slay West with her sick rhymes about destroying him with a shank or whatever rappers scream at each other about when they beef these days.

* No wonder the LAPD doesn't ever seem to arrest anyone. LeAnn Rimes called the cops claiming paparazzi were blocking her driveway keeping her from pulling her car out. When the cops showed up, there were no cars. But since the LAPD was already there, they helped LeAnn unload some luggage and golf clubs so that the trip wasn't completely pointless. Hey, maybe if we call and tell them we've witnessed O.J. Simpson in an altercation at Pizza Hut they'll bring us a pizza. We'll even tip 'em.

* Avril Lavigne and her husband Deryck Whibley, the Hot Topic version of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, are going their separate ways after three years of marriage (we'll give you a few minutes to look up who Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley are on Wikipedia). According to Us Weekly, "She dumped him and told him she was leaving him. She wants to move on," a source says, adding that Lavigne forced him out of their $9.5 million, 12,000-square-foot estate in L.A." But there's a silver lining. At least they didn't reproduce, 'cause that much fug would be grounds for child abuse charges.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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