That's A Whole Lotta Brand New Golf Clubs!

Tiger Woods' many FORE-ays with the rejects from "For The Love of Ray J" have cost him his reputation, privacy and princely sponsorships deals with Gillette and Gatorade, among others.

And if his wife, Elin Nordegren, has her way, it will also cost him a $300 million divorce settlement and custody of their two children.

But at least Tiger will keep custody of his balls. And the ones with Nike printed on them, too.

Elin reportedly is convinced that the potent putter's sexcapades have made him an unfit father, "She wants 100 percent divorce, 100 percent custody of the children, and half of everything. And she won't be changing her mind," snitched an Elin insider.

She has hired celeb pit ball divorce lawyer Sorell Trope to fight for at least half of Tiger's estimated $600 million fortune. The source added that Elin is waiting for the right time to file for divorce, "She's going to take her sweet time. She wants all the dirty laundry to be out on the table before she signs anything."

We're going to need a bigger table. We're also going to need a bigger file to hold all the documents detailing the every move of Tiger's peen. Every time another mistress comes forward, Tiger's checking account sheds another tear.

Sources say that Elin is doing this solely for her children, Sam, 2, and Charlie, 1, and that they are her top priority. "Oh, and the money, " Elin Nordegren was overheard saying, "Don't forget the money."

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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