Jealous Of Octomom, Plans To Expand Family

Oh hell to the N-O. King of Pop Michael Jackson reportedly wants to adopt another child to add to his three-ring family circus. Dear Chris Hansen: We've found the next target for Dateline NBC's To Catch a Predator. The one bit of good news: Madonna just has to say "hey, at least I'm not Michael Jackson," and her adoption plans should be a snap.

Lindsay Lohan, who hasn't had a movie role in two years, says she's worried about being out of work and is reportedly living off of credit cards. But we're glad to hear the starlet's not stressing out too much about it; she just got a new Maserati and a Rolex, fueling fights with her slightly more thrify girlfriend, Samantha Ronson.

* Chris Brown was spotted on the campus of Norfolk State University, sparking rumors that the R&B star was going to ditch litigation for college courses. But it looks like Brown was just there supporting his cousin who plans to enroll. And by "supporting" we mean, hanging around at college bars helping him get laid. Besides, if there are any classes Brown should enroll in it's anger management.

* It's the economy stupid. Or so claims The Hills star Lauren Conrad who's putting her sweat shop produced fashion line on hiatus. Boo. Where are we supposed to find overpriced blah jersey dresses now?

* One Tree Hill star Chad Michael Murray is getting the heave-ho because the CW "wants to save money." So to save his paycheck, CM2 is encouraging fans to "start blogging and being pissed off." Sorry, bro, but you are like so early 2000s. The tweens are all busy twittering about their Robert Pattinson vamp fantasies and how cute the JoBros (*squeal*) are.

* High School Musical star Zac Efron has cut loose from Footloose. The well-coiffed cutie was set to step into Kevin Bacon's sneaks but evidently asked himself "What Would Leonardo DiCaprio Do?" and realized that starring in yet another song-and-dance flick is not exactly setting himself on the path to Oscardom. Neither is maintaining his glorious man-tan with an economy size tube of bronzer but baby steps people, baby steps.

* Like a moth to a flame, or a crackhead to a lighter, Amy Winehouse singed her Marge Simpson-esque 'do when fuses blew and sparks lit up her locks after the retro "no, no, no" rehabber and her friends plugged in their instruments. But Winehouse displayed quick thinking and doused the flames to salvage her beehived locks. We think it says a lot about Amy's progress that she actually had liquid on hand that didn't contain alcohol and was able to extinguish the fire. Way to work the program! Only 11 more steps to go.

* If children are our future, we're all totally screwed. Miley Cyrus' biography, "Miles to Go," hit numero uno on the New York Times children's best seller list. Whatever happened to classics like "Are You There God, It's Me Margaret?" Next thing you know, "Miles" will be required reading in college English classes.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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