What Not To Do When You See Your Ex

Even in a big city you probably notice that it's still a small world. No matter where you go, whether it's in the unholy hours of the morning or the wee hours of the night, you're bound to run into someone you know.

Sometimes it's an old friend, sometimes a kindergarten class mate, and on rare occasions... it's the last person to break your heart.

For your own emotional safety, we've made a list of 'do nots' for that inevitably awkward encounter when time seems to stand still.

Do Not:

Make A Run For It
A run-in with your ex, particularly at an inopportune time, is obviously not an ideal situation. But sometimes it's unavoidable. If you've already established a mutual sighting, it's too late to escape. Pretending you didn't see him or her is only going to make matters worse. Suck it up and pull through with at least a friendly greeting or brief head nod to acknowledge their existence.

Talk About How Amazing Life Is
Gloating about how great you are without them? Big mistake. Leaving your ex with the impression that you are haughty and aloof is not the best idea even if you parted on not-so-friendly terms. You may still be bitter now, but try your hardest to be confident and glowing without the fat ego. Ask them what they're up to and take interest in it - maybe that's something that was lacking before? If not, common courtesy is never a waste of time, whether it's with an ex or a stranger on the street.

Cry
Please show some emotional restraint. If it hasn't been that long since the split, a sudden encounter with the heartbreaker is going to feel like a huge blow, but keep your cool. Stay calm and remember that all the power is in your hands, even when you're feeling completely powerless. Choose to be grateful for the lessons you've learned or are in the process of learning from the experience. And be hopeful for the future! In the words of a wise young musician, "good love is on the way!"

Make Out... With Anyone
This is not the time to validate yourself through superficial means. Whether you're dating someone new or not, you don't need to prove yourself to the ex. If your life is at its highest peak and you're feeling fabulous, it will show without a public lip lock.

Rehash Relationship Errors
Leave the past in the past. Enough said?

Bend Over Backwards To See Them Again
You may be friendly with one another, but don't push it. The first few months after a break up can be shaky. Don't torture yourself by volunteering to hang out with them or go see their latest band gig. Keep a respectable distance and let time work on healing your wounds.

Spill, Trip, Cough Up Hairballs, etc.
Okay, this may seem like a silly tip, and tricky to prevent. We all have embarrassing moments and they seem to reach maximum potential when we are around people we want to impress. Just be aware of your surroundings and try to keep your nerves in check so that you can strut your stuff with grace and poise. If you slip up and find yourself barreling down a flight of stairs in the subway, well.....let's hope the universe is kind enough to schedule your next impromptu visit a good 6-8 months later.

Inquire About his Current Relationship Status
It doesn't matter who he's seeing, what he's doing, how much he's getting around. This is not your business and you don't need more weight to carry on your mind. Keep conversation light and casual, no dirty laundry allowed.

Courtney Gilmour
		About the author:
		Courtney is a published writer, stand-up comic, and shameless Internet enthusiast. She holds a double bachelors degree in English Literature and Communication Media Studies, specializing in semiotic theory, however she doesn't get Shakespeare and has never won a game of Scrabble. Currently she lives in Toronto and works as a writer for WOMAN.CA.
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