Are You A Carbon Copy of His Ex?

Does He Have A Type Or Is He Trying To Replace His Last GF?

We all have our preferences and ideals when it comes to dating. Tall, dark, and handsome? Yes please!

But there's not a standard image that all of us ladies have in our heads, and similarly there is not a standard image for men either. Some go for lean and slender, others go for petite and curvy. We like what we like. Every now and then, however, we meet a guy with taste that's, hmm, let's say too specific?

Here's the reality. If the guy you're dating is on the rebound, or was in a significant relationship, there is a chance that when he tells you you're his "type" he is actually trying to say you remind him of his ex.

There's a fine line between a natural propensity towards a certain kind of person, and an unhealthy fixation. Unfortunately, it's often hard to distinguish. After all, do you really want to be accusing your current boy-toy of being hung up on his ex when he just simply likes short blondes?

If you're worried that you are just another carbon copy, here are some signs to look for :

His Preferences Are Too Specific
It's one thing to say you're into girls with dark hair and feminine features. It's another thing to say you're in to girls with dark curly hair, straight in the summer, natural make-up, luscious pouty lips, blue eyes, little waist, loves animals, off-beat hippie fashion sense. Too many details = too many red flags.

Rules
Not only is his checklist extensive, but he has no interest in anyone who is going to stray from its content. If he loves long hair and the idea of chopping it a few inches shorter is a non-negotiable, he's not only still into his ex but don't be surprised if he's got a picture of her under his pillow at night.

Patterns
Have you paid attention to his track record? Have you seen the other girls he's dated? Ask around, find out what his dating pattern has been like since his big break up. A series of doppelgangers is your biggest clue that you're not living in bliss, you're living in her shadow.

A word of advice if this sounds all too familiar: the worst thing you can do is try to BE the girl he's after. Because the truth is, it's not you. And when things go awry, which at this rate they're likely to, you might feel inclined to blame yourself for not meeting his expectations. Spare yourself the anxiety, and move on to someone who's all about you and what you alone have to offer. The guy who can't get past the past? So not your type.

Courtney Gilmour
		About the author:
		Courtney is a published writer, stand-up comic, and shameless Internet enthusiast. She holds a double bachelors degree in English Literature and Communication Media Studies, specializing in semiotic theory, however she doesn't get Shakespeare and has never won a game of Scrabble. Currently she lives in Toronto and works as a writer for WOMAN.CA.
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