Don't Let His Jealousy Ruin Your Relationship

Ever notice how jealousy can’t be spelled without lousy?

That’s because it’s just that. A lousy quality to have.

Jealousy is easy to come by and hard to get over. And it’s alos a total relationship killer.

If you’ve ever experienced a jealous boyfriend, you know how difficult it can be to see past his jealous ways. It affects his thoughts and actions and in turn, affects yours. If you think you might be in a jealous relationship but still want to work it out with your man, read on for some easy-to-do tips on how to deal with a jealous boyfriend.

1. Don’t Deal
Perhaps the most obvious and the most easy is to just ignore your jealous boyfriends ways. You both know that a lasting relationship is built on trust and commitment. If your boyfriend is acting jealous without good reason, then maybe the best thing to do is move on and give him time to let him grow up a little.

2. Accept The Issue
If you’re not about to jump the gun, pack up and leave town, then you’re probably in it for the long hull. You are sure of your love for him, and want to work out through the bad things and enjoy all the good things the relationship offers. Accepting his jealousy means you want to learn about his insecurities, and work with him to find ways to change it. It won’t be easy, so that commitment factor is key here. Accepting the issue also means being diplomatic and understanding – no yelling.

3. Investigate
What's the issue? You damn well can’t fix a problem if you’re not sure what the problem is! Before you ask him why hes jealous, do a little self-searching. Ask yourself if you have anything to do with how your boyfriend is feeling. Why is he jealous? It can stem from so many things, from a bad childhood to feeling the need to be accepted. Do you know about his past? Maybe there is a bad relationship he didn’t mention to you, because he’s afraid the same thing will happen. Don’t drive yourself crazy with ‘what-ifs’ – get to the matter of things and ask him outright.

4. Listen To Him
with determining the problem, you’re going to have to listen. You’re never going to understand what he is jealous unless you listen to what he has to say. In turn, this will help you learn more about your jealous boyfriend and how to go about dealing with it.

5. Talk It Out
Arguing is only going to aggravate the issue, and wont get you very far. Remember, he’s feeling like you will leave him. To get aggressive and say something you don’t mean is the worst case scenario, as recovery might take longer than usual. Yes you are feeling frustrated, so try and express your feelings as assertively as possible.

6. Be Open
A jealous boyfriend is already suspicious of you. This of course, drives you mad, especially when you know there’s nothing for him to worry about. Jealousy overpowers reasoning. All you can do is be open. Hiding things from your boyfriend, jealous or not in a relationship will create tension and eventually surface. Honestly is always the best avenue. Be open about feelings with him.

7. Include Him
A jealous boyfriend is a hot head of emotion, and the thought of you going somewhere without him, with the possibility of seeing other men, doesn’t exactly fly with him. And you can probably count on spending less and less time with your male friends, no matter how brotherly. What to do? You don’t want to give up your friendships for your boyfriend so try and include him in your outings. Show him there is nothing for him to worry about, that your friends, though a bit crazy, are really good people at heart. This should help him to ease into the fact that you do have a social life outside of the relationship. Inviting him out places with you and your friends will make him feel tons better and start to dispel thoughts he has of you, on account of his jealousy. Having a girls-night doesn’t exactly warrant that you bring your guy. You are entitled to time with your friends as he is too.

8. Set Rules
Sometimes a relationship functions better for both people involved when there are rules in place. Not to be constricting of the other person, but to acknowledge the fact that there is mutual understanding and respect for each other. Establishing a set of rules is also a good way to let the other person know which buttons not to press! Willing participants will avoid arguments and see that their relationship can work, despite jealousy.

9. Build His Confidence
Our western society has build up this image of man as the successful business type with an athletic build, a fancy downtown condo, money in the bank. Of course it exists, but maybe your boyfriend isn’t exactly like this. To you, it doesn’t matter. You love him for his own person. But sometimes a jealous boyfriend is jealous of what other men have. This only fuels his insecurities, and makes him feel inferior. He may ask himself “Why should she stay with me when there are so many more good-looking, accomplished me than me?” The easiest thing you can do is make him feel good about himself. Hearing compliments from the woman he loves will help him to understand you truly care for him and appreciate him. His confidence will increase and he will see less situations that threaten his bond with you. 

10. Use Reverse Psychology
If you start acting jealous to make him see how ridiculous he looks, it might make him realize what a d----e bag he’s being. Act jealous for stupid reasons. He will most likely get agitated, and this is where you explain that you are only trying to make him see how he makes you feel with his jealous behaviour. If he’s smart, he’ll do what it takes to change his ways.

Think About It: If you’ve done everything humanly possible to make your boyfriend stop being jealous and he just won’t budge, you’ve got to look at the situation. How is it affecting your emotional and mental healths? A jealous boyfriend can be a toxic one. If you feel you are defending yourself everywhere you turn, it might be time to move on. It will be better for the both of you in the end.

WOMAN.ca wishes you a healthy and happy relationship.

Photo Source.

Hilary Lauren Fox
		About the author:
		Sometimes she's a redhead, sometimes she's a blonde. Some days it's H&M, and on other days, it's Chanel. What ever the mood, she is a woman who is passionate about the arts, fashion and social media. Born in Toronto, Hilary Lauren Fox is an only child to artist parents - mom was an illustrator and pattern maker, dad was a painter.  Rather then studying the arts as her parents hoped for, Hilary opted for a degree in psychology with dreams of working in a clinical setting. But after graduating she realized that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and that the arts was in her blood, applying her education within the art and fashion world.
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