My friend says
My friend says she feels she has found someone very special. Though he states he shares the same feelings, he is not available. He recently ended a relationship and needs some time. She longs to be with him and is beginning to feel obsessed as she is over-thinking what his messages mean, planning out her ideal future with him etc. She is feeling consumed by this desire.
I say
My friend has hit the problem on the mark: desire is dangerous. Desires that act as motivation can be healthy, but only when they are met. Desires unfulfilled ultimately lead to anger.
I suggest spending less time obsessing over the mementos of the past and less time planning the details of the future. Desires often make one lose their reasoning power. When we intensely desire an object, we often turn to any means to possess it often losing our integrity. When this desire is unfulfilled, anger rises in one's heart towards the obstacle between him and this desire. So why invite anger into your life? Anger is just one letter short of Danger.
Try to focus on the moment, this way you'll never miss out on the happiness you can actually experience. There is no point in dwelling on thoughts, the power you have over your life is now. You don't have the power to change the past and the future is still to come. Seek peace of mind rather than inviting desires to consume you. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why they call it the present.
 Katia Tallarico, Relationships 2.0 | |
| About the author: | |
Katia Aurora Tallarico, born and raised in Toronto, currently lives in Manhattan. As an undergraduate at McGill University, she lived in Montreal where she studied Psychology and later pursued a graduate degree in Counseling Psychology at Columbia University in New York City. Katia integrates both Western and Eastern approaches to her mental health practice and credits her own well-being to a dedicated meditation and yoga practice. She has worked servicing chronically mentally ill adults in lower Manhattan and currently works as a Mental Health Counselor with foster children in the South Bronx. In addition, Katia is an active supporter and Young Benefactor Committee member of Free Arts NYC (www.freeartsnyc.org). | |
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