Can Dating Online Convert to a Real Life Spark?
It amazes me how much people truly believe the best in other people. When you're sitting at a desk or on a couch staring at your lap top monitor how do you know what's appearing is the truth? How can you case the start of a relationship on facts that you can't confirm with a person you have never met? This is my favorite "online dating bible" on the issue: The Savvy Girl's Guide to Online Dating.
With a quick Google search and a right click, left click an online profile can be pimped to look like anyone. Yet through all the horror stories being told about abductions and other dating stories passed on through a friend of a friend of a friend whose sister is a doctor, why do people still put themselves out there in such a vulnerable way? We can all see when the the dangerous side of desire hits the nightly news with horrifying results.
After playing World of War Craft for several years a friend of mine, let's call her Samantha started talking exclusively to this guy Bob in New York. Samantha lives in Ontario, but they hit it off while casting magical spells and saving kingdoms from evil monsters. After a month of talking Samantha and Bob thought it was a good idea to meet. In this case Samantha never having met Bob off line drove over five hours to spend the weekend at his home in New York State, she went to a different country to meet a man she had only ever talked to online and only seen online.
A month later Bob took the train to come to Ontario to meet Samantha's family. It seemed to work out well, Samantha traveled to the States numerous times to visit Bob, but he never traveled this way again after his first visit. Then out of nowhere Samantha broke up with Bob to date Tony who lives in California.
Again Samantha is travelling out of country this time by plane to spend a week with a man she has just met. The sad part is no one knows she's doing this until it's already happened. When she first traveled to New York to visit Bob she told her friends and family she was going camping with the other party, business was taking her to California and no one suspected a thing.
After talking to her about her break up with Bob, it was mentioned that he just wasn't the same in person as he was in the online world. That in person he looked nothing like his pictures and spent all his time on the computer play video games. Samantha told me about how she tried to make it work as she has strong feelings so the man in the computer but could no longer go on with the relationship. She met Tony the same way through online gaming. Tony has come this was to visit several times and appears to have stayed true to his real personality in his online life.
It makes one question, what would have happened if one of these guys would have turned out to be something totally opposite of what they said. In bath cases she was unreachable and untraceable. If something would have happened no one except them would have know about it and by the time anyone else knew it might have been too late.
Another case, Laura a friend of a friend of mine started talking to this guy on Facebook. They went to schools close together and enjoyed the same social activities. He enjoyed her pictures and she enjoyed his as well. Her pictures however do not show anything other than her face, neck a stockpile of boobs. She's a very pretty girl, with a great smile but she's on the overweight side and does not tell people that and from her pictures you would never guess. She's awesome the way she is but she's afraid to let people know her size as she's worried it might turn potential suitors away.
Laura and Chuck decided to meet at a local coffee shop to try and turn their online connection into a real life spark. Laura waited for over two hours waiting for Chuck to arrive. She tried his cell and got his machine; finally she left and went home to message him. Laura was unable to find him on Facebook, as it seems she has been blocked from viewing his profile. It's only left to assumption that he arrived at the coffee shop and being a shallow excuse of a human being ditched the date after seeing the rest of the package was not what he thought it would be.
Laura was heartbroken, as any girl would be. Yet again not even a week later she's back surfing online sites such as MeetMeInTo.com trying her luck at love again. But before firing up that laptop, perhaps writing a Vision is the best way for a girl to get back in the game.
What happened to the days of approaching a man at the mall, the book store even a bar? Technology is wonderful and has opened so many doors so for many people, from shopping, reconnecting with lost friends and family even the ability to order your dinner online, it just seems that something's such as looking for a partner should be left to the old fashioned way of social human contact where unless your pick is a con artist all the cards are on the table right off the get go.
Ordering pizza online you can pick your toppings and you know what pepperoni, mushrooms and green peppers look like, what to expect when open the lid but with an online relationship its anyone's guess to what's underneath the great profile pic.
By Michelle Laing
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