And What To Do If It Bothers Him

I was sitting in the lunch room a few years ago reading an article on how much more money Madonna made than Guy Ritchie. I remember commenting, “Wow, that's gotta make him uncomfortable.”

Strangely, it met a lot of contention from the other two women who were sitting with me. Their reasoning, why would he care? And then they broke up. While no one ever came out and said it, the fact that she was so powerful probably had some, if not a insignificant, influence on his bad behaviour.

In the first episode of Lipstick Jungle (I watched to see what the hype was about, okay?), Lucy Liu's character is up against her fiance for the same promotion. They have “the conversation” about being supportive of each other either way, and everything is sunshine and flowers until they announce that Liu is being promoted. He drops her like a hot potato because he can't stand the thought of being a subordinate to his fiance.

Personally, I'm not surprised by that reaction. In general, Men - real men anyway - like to be the providers. The hunter-gatherers. They're raised with an innate instinct to want to fix the things that break, protect you from harm and bring home the bacon.

If you find yourself the main bread winner of the household, chances are you'll discover that your man is one of three personalities – The Gentleman, The Jerk, and The Leech – and you'll need to know how to handle each one.

The Gentleman
He's what you hope for in a partner – he's supportive of your career goals and thankful to be with a woman who can provide for herself and help the household. When you're working late, he's pulling his weight around the house doing those chores you don't have time to do. He's thoughtful, he's caring, he doesn't complain – what a perfect world. You really don't need to do anything except appreciate him and his own efforts to bridge the gap.

The Jerk
This guy can either be passive-aggressive in his discomfort, or downright ridiculous (like breaking up with you because of your career). He doesn't offer to do more around the house, whines and complains that you don't have enough time to keep the apartment or house tidy, and expects you to pick up the dry cleaning even though he works right there. He can also get resentful when you offer to pick up the tab for dinner or groceries. How do you deal? You have to have a heart-to-heart with the jerk. If he's as macho as he appears, he won't want to discuss his “feelings”, so you may have to ask an outside party to mediate. In an ideal world, he'll see the error of his ways and learn to respect your ability. Or at least you'll be able to work something out as he tries to move ahead in his own career. But don't let his moody, petulance chase you off your dreams. He should support, not stifle you.

The Leech
This gem of a fella doesn't have any problem with you making more money than him. In fact, he's 100 per cent supportive of your career. He also doesn't mind when you pick up the tab for dinner. Or groceries. Or the movies. Or for new jeans. Or for car repairs. Or his half of the rent. Or his phone bill. Or for 60 bucks to go out drinking with his buddies. Getting the hint? The Leech isn't interested in having his own job, he just wants to be taken care of by someone. Doesn't matter that he spends all day at home, he won't lift a finger to make your life easier. How do you deal with it? This is tricky – leeches have mastered the art of the sob story. You have to stand your ground and be firm. Tell him he needs to get a job and start taking care of his own. You should be saving that money, not bank rolling his indefinite time off.

Image from MorgueFile

Hilary Lauren Fox
		About the author:
		Sometimes she's a redhead, sometimes she's a blonde. Some days it's H&M, and on other days, it's Chanel. What ever the mood, she is a woman who is passionate about the arts, fashion and social media. Born in Toronto, Hilary Lauren Fox is an only child to artist parents - mom was an illustrator and pattern maker, dad was a painter.  Rather then studying the arts as her parents hoped for, Hilary opted for a degree in psychology with dreams of working in a clinical setting. But after graduating she realized that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and that the arts was in her blood, applying her education within the art and fashion world.
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