No One Wants To Be A Bossy B****

Girl's with drive and dreams open themselves up to being called a lot of things, and many of those names are not always flattering.

It's not like you're yelling at your employees because you like to, but if you don't they won't get it right, will they? If you're personal mantra is “If you want something done right, you've got to do it yourself” take a step back and ask yourself – Am I too bossy?

The line between authoritative and authoritarian is a fine one, and not everyone you work, are friends with or date will see it as clearly as others. Are you managing this delicate balance with grace and poise? Or when someone voices an opinion that opposes yours, do revert to that old chestnut, “I'm always right?”

They say you catch more flies with honey – so, if you agree with any of the five points below, accept that you're a control freak and learn how to get the results you crave without demanding them.  

I'm always getting in fights
You get frustrated when other people's opinions are different to yours and even when you know you're wrong you still argue the point because you can't stand to be wrong in front of someone else. You look at being wrong as a weakness. But to ere is human! We all make mistakes, it's probably programmed into our genetic code. Want people to respect your opinion instead of avoiding asking for it? Admit when you aren't wrong and listen (actually listen!) to what other people have to say. You may learn something new in the process.

I always choose where we eat
This is a general statement expressing a sweeping sentiment – your opinion is the only one that matters. Where you eat, what movie you watch, what activity you do on the weekend. You're basically projecting the message that your friend's opinions aren't as important as yours, or that they don't know what they're talking about. Unless you're Gordon Ramsey or Roger Ebert, let someone else have a chance. If they mess up, so what? Remember – to ere is human, to forgive divine!

I demand perfection from everyone
At work, at home, in your relationship – you expect everyone to put in the same level of effort and produce the same outcome as yourself. But everyone works at a different pace and brings something unique to the table, this sort of expectation is unrealistic. At the end of the day, many hands make light work. If it weren't for the people around you, you wouldn't be able to produce anything. Appreciate their efforts and, if they're not as strong, try helping them improve instead of breathing down their necks.

My wants supersede anyone else
This is the expression of your fundamental need to be the centre of attention. Do you expect employees to finish your reports first, when they are working on other projects? Do you demand that your boyfriend call you every hour when he's out with his friends? Do you want your friends to drop what they're doing with other people to be by your side? If you can't see the wrong in this behaviour, someone needs to turn your lights on. Why should these people, with their own wants and needs, put you on a pedestal? You need to let people live their own lives – when you aren't demanding all of their energy, they'll be more inclined to spend it with or on you.

My respect must be earned before it is given
People feel like they have to jump through hoops in order to make you pay attention to them. It may be an unconscious attribute, but more than likely because you think you're better than anyone else. In the gave of life, this is a level playing field. No one is better than anyone else and you need to remind yourself that on a regular basis. You may dress better or work in a fancier office, but you may not be smarter or taller or more talented. You need to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Remember, it takes 14 positive impressions to reverse the first negative one so, in the words of Clarice Starling, “Are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself?” - why work harder after the fact when you could just get it right the first time around?  

Image from MorgueFile

Hilary Lauren Fox
		About the author:
		Sometimes she's a redhead, sometimes she's a blonde. Some days it's H&M, and on other days, it's Chanel. What ever the mood, she is a woman who is passionate about the arts, fashion and social media. Born in Toronto, Hilary Lauren Fox is an only child to artist parents - mom was an illustrator and pattern maker, dad was a painter.  Rather then studying the arts as her parents hoped for, Hilary opted for a degree in psychology with dreams of working in a clinical setting. But after graduating she realized that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and that the arts was in her blood, applying her education within the art and fashion world.
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