Why Keeping Your Girlfriends Close Enriches Your Life

50-something women try to squeeze more into their dayswork, relationships, children, home life and as a result, female friendships can fall by the wayside. But the novelty of being able to confide and complain is more than just about leisure. According to some experts, it's crucial to your health.

In a culture that favours short and timely texts, tweets, pokes and emails over face-to-face interaction, the classic X chromosome companionship has given way to increasing social isolation for women. But it wasn't always this way. Today's mid-life women may remember their own mothers meeting with their friends over a cup of coffee (and the occasional cigarette) to discuss their children, husbands and transition to menopause. How can we learn to reintegrate female friendships back in our lives, and what are we losing if we don't?

According to author Abigail Trafford, strong female friendships are crucial for keeping women sane as they age. In her book, My Time: Making the Most of Your Life, Trafford says they could also save your life: Not having a close friend can be hazardous to your health, she writes. Study after study shows that people who are socially isolated are more likely to die 'prematurely.' She adds that the relationship between isolation and risk of premature death is just as bad as excessive drinking, smoking and leading a sedentary lifestyle.

Still not convinced? Consider how much energy we invest in our diet and exercise regimens. If Trafford is right, how women approach our female friendships could be even more crucial than that extra hour of hot yoga. Before she died, my grandmother relayed advice given to her by her family doctor: "Good friends are far more valuable than any health insurance policy, especially as a woman grows older." Perhaps it is time to reconsider our priorities.

During a time of rapid change that can include menopause, divorce, children leaving home and retirement, it is friends who provide a reference outside the family against which to measure and judge ourselves, who help us during passages that require our separation and individualism, writes author Lillian Rubin in Just Friends: The Role of Friendship In Our Lives. According to Rubin, that includes sharing and witnessing the stories of others to offer encouragement for the development of parts of self.

My strongest experience happened in 2005, when I backpacked through New Zeland's South Island with a group of women from different professional backgrounds, cultures and lifestyles. We bonded through common activities like sailing and swimming with dolphins, but made lasting connections in the evening, when we shared and witnessed our life stories in a sacred space.

The uncharted territory of mid-life living can include daunting changes in the mind and body, but the hopeful Trafford encourages women to see their second adolescence as a chance to master the art of reinvention and increase your social capital to ensure healthy living: "Your future [as a woman] depends on a friendship network, she says. After all, everything is more fun when done with a friend.