Stevie Nicks To Lindsay Lohan, "Get A Grip"

Poor Lindsay Lohan. Fresh off her breakup from Samantha Ronson, reported snubbing by Nicole Richie and Drea de Matteo and threats that she may be faced with a restraining order, the one-time actress is now getting dumped on from the unlikeliest of "Mean Girls:" Stevie Nicks. Responding to rumors that LiLo wants to buy the rights to the rocker's life and portray her in a film, the Fleetwood Mac singer said "over my dead body" and "she needs to stop doing drugs and get a grip. Then maybe we'll talk." Guess the recovering addict just isn't a fan of Method acting.

* Britney Spears' message to the smokers who interrupted her show: "Thank you, Vancouver! You guys have a wonderful night. Drive safe, don't smoke weed and rock out with your c--ks out. Peace, motherf--kers!" She's like a walking PSA, that one. Why don't they leave her mic on all the time?

* Dying to hear more about John Mayer's sad, possibly Jennifer Aniston-inspired tune? Yeah, you are. Here's the part about how John Mayer will never be Brad Pitt: "Drop his name, push it in and twist the knife again; Watch my face as I pretend to feel no pain." Plus, it's got a beat you can dance to!

* A weight-conscious Jessica Alba has reportedly banned all white foods from her presence, even asking family members to abstain when she's around. Doesn't she sound like a barrel of fun?

* Psst, Jennifer Lopez has a wig room where she keeps thousands of dollars of human hair full-length wigs and hairpieces under lock down. "Jennifer keeps the door locked and hardly ever lets anyone in the room, not even Marc," says a snoop. We're trying to decide if this is more or less ridiculous than Mariah Carey's Hello Kitty room. Next we'll find out JLo's famous booty is just padding.

* Cribbing a page from John Mayer's "Your Body is a Wonderland" ode to Jennifer Love Hewitt pre-Jamie Kennedy, Prince has penned a new tune called "Valentina" about Salma Hayek's curves and how beautiful she is. And if Hayek's not interested, Prince says her bff Penelope Cruz, who's currently dating Javier Bardem, will do. Who knew the half-pint was such a playa?

* After their painfully staged smooch at the Aussie MTV awards (were we the only ones thinking circa Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?), Pete Wentz ditched the family values tour with wifey Ashlee Simpson-Wentz to get his partay on with some skankily clad women at an after-party in Vegas. The leaked photos will look just great in the family album. "Look Bronx: Here's you, here's me and here's daddy grinding up on some tart. Can you say 'mommy wants half in the divorce?'"

* Audrina Patridge doesn't care what before-and-after splits prove, "The Hills" star swears she hasn't had any plastic surgery. Well, at least on her face; she didn't mention her boobs . . .

* Kate Moss is reportedly looking to expand her empire by writing a cookbook. Uh, she knows those sorts of books usually involve food, right?

* The Gay Fish man himself Kanye West took to his blog to offer up one of his all-caps rants about being poked fun at on South Park: "SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE." Off the top of our head, maybe we wouldn't think he was an egomanical twat if he didn't do things like change his name to Martin Louis the King Jr, to embody the real MLK Jr. and his favorite label, Louis Vuitton. Just a thought.

* Jessica Simpson was dropped by her country label. Rock and R&B both immediately called Not it!

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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