Wacko Jacko Keeping All His Crazy Crap-O

If you pooled your pennies for that airbrushed portrait of Michael Jackson as Peter Pan, just "Beat It." The auction for the King of Pop's wacky memorabilia from Neverland Ranch has been stopped by the singer's production company. We bet it was the stuffed chimpanzee and Elizabeth Taylor's girdle he couldn't stand to part with. The glitzy gear and other doodads, which organizers had projected could rake in up to $30 million at auction, are currently on display in Beverly Hills. Curiosity seekers (you know who you are) can take a gander for $20 a head until April 25. We suggest leaving the kids at Chucky Cheese though.

* We think it's pretty safe to say Britney Spears won't be celebrating the end of her tour by marrying a 40-year-old real estate developer on his aunt's farm in Germany.
Supposedly, John Sundahl, who lives with his parents, spent $4.5 million on a ring and is forking over another $350K for a fence to keep the nuptials private. Brit's nuts, but not that nuts. We think . . .

* It's looking more unlikely that Madonna will set up permanent residence in Malawai to fulfill that bothersome little detail that says she have to live in the country for 18 to 24 months before adopting Mercy James (she tooootally has the potential to upstage Miss Zahara Jolie-Pitt). She reportedly just purchased a $40 million apartment on East 81st Street in Manhattan, which we guess is sort of like the Malawi of the Upper East Side, right?

* Today's creeptastic moment brought to you by John Mayer Twitter-flirting with Demi Lovato. After dating a more, ahem, experienced woman in Jennifer Aniston, it appears 31-year-old John may be making a flirty play in the opposite directionin the form of 16-year-old Demi (when did Disney become the new "Girls Gone Wild?"). At first, the Twittermance started with Demi just saying "Hi" to Mayer. But it soon progressed to the Grammy winner giving praise and career advice to the 16-year-old. Discuss. Barf.

* Eminem is set to perform his spoof-y new hit "We Made You" at the upcoming MTV Movie Awards. Expect lots of awkward Jennifer-Aniston-to-Angelina-Jolie-to-Brad Pitt camera cuts to seat warmers Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson. Goly gee, we hope Triumph the Wonder Dog and Moby will be there to make the night of utter irrelevance complete.

* LeAnn Rimes thinks "people are fascinated with my personal life and I totally get it." "Fascinated" seems like a stretch. People really only cared about your life when there were the early rumors that your husband, Dean Sheremet, might be gay, and then maybe "mildly interested when you most likely did the deed with Eddie Cibrian and forced it on us for your Lifetime movies. All those years in between, we really didn't care that much.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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