Oprah Winfrey Is The Queen Of All Media (Sorry Perez Hilton)

Ashton Kutcher, who just set a record for nabbing 1 million Twitter followers, now has some serious competition in the social networking universe. Oprah Winfrey just posted her first Tweet: "HI TWITTERS. THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY," she wrote in all caps (how very Kanye West). Her posts are like a direct IM from God. But as soon as Suri Cruise learns to read and write (one of her minions will do the typing, natch) she's going down!

* Everyone knows that Jennifer Aniston stars in movies like "The Baster" so she can alert the world to her desperate need for a baby. Now the National Enquirer says she's considering former Friends co-star David Schwimmer as a sperm donor to make her rom-com plotline a terrible reality. With every fiber of our snarky being we want this rumor to be true. Hey, they were right about the whole John Edwards paternity thing so it's at least a tiny bit plausible. PLEASE gossip gods, we won't ask for anything else this year . . .

* Candy Spelling was on Larry King Live earlier this week, responding to Tori's appearance on The View and pretty much blamed her daughter for Aaron Spelling'sdeath. Really? We kinda thought the fact that he was old might have contributed to his demise. Or an unfortunate accident in the gift-wrapping room. Candy and Dina Lohanare so gonna have to hug it out for the "Mommy Dearest" title this year. Seriously, Candy and Tori need to stop wasting their time coming up with punny titles for tell-all books and making TV appearances to hash out their issues. At least have the decency to just do reality shows. We don't have time to read or Tivo all this crap.

* Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt got a marriage license and will wed legally on Saturday, which ought to be the opposite of romantic. Guests will receive 10 free copies of Heidi's new single to make the sacred occasion that much more
special.

* Mandy Moore has a new album coming out. It's called Amanda Leigh, her proper name, because this album is so seriously for-real she couldn't go by Mandy. And that marriage last month to Ryan Adams also equals real points. She also posed
in some lingerie for May's Details in order to emphasize the realness. Of her boobs, we're assuming. Way to rise above it all, Mandy.

* Poor Rihanna can't catch a break these days. It appears that the sage words of Hindu text she had inked on her haunch aren't spelled correctly. It could be worse though. It could have said "Chris Brown + Rihanna 4-Ever."

* Excessive violence? Fine. Foul language? Sure. Scenes of faux guy-love? The horror! After the MPAA threatened to slap an NC-17 rating on Sacha Baron Cohen's "Bruno" flick due to several sexually explicit Brokeback Mountain-like scenes, a final reedited version of the surefire blockbuster has netted the film a much more audience-friendly R. Brace.

* Pink and ex-hubster Carey Hart have been getting reacquainted. Now it turns out they're getting re-hitched? What will she sing about if she's not hating on him??

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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