We're Breathless With Anticipation For Clay Aiken's Latest Fame-Whoring Rant (Note The Sarcasm)

American Idol runner-up David Archuleta's stage Dad from Hell (who is also a Mormon, in case you forgot) was busted back in January for getting "serviced" by a massage parlor prostitute.

Whoops. Talk about a not-so-happy ending.

James' lawyer claims he went to get a legitimate massage to help his sore back, but that nasty little Chinese girl at the Sexy Time Massage Shack tricked him!

Has Michael Lohan taught him nothing? If he had used David's celebrity like any self-respecting freeloading parental unit, he wouldn't have had to pay for it and all of this could have been avoided. Honestly, what's the point in pushing your kid to fulfill all of your dashed dreams if not for your benefit? There must be a copy of the book "So Your Kid Is A Celebrity; How To Use Their Success To Be An Entitled Douche With Delusions of Grandeur" he can borrow from Dina Lohan.

At least he got off before he was arrested. Don't you hate it when you give a ho your money and get cuffed before getting down to business? They won't even give you a refund.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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