Time For A Big Ole Helping Of Cheesy Grits!

Uh oh, ya'll.

Is Britney Spears about to take another ride on the Crazy Train? The stress of being pushed and pressured to perform night after night, month after month is starting to take its toll.

First, there was the new dye job. Not that it doesn't look purdy, but whenever Brit starts messing around with her hair, well it's a concern. It's usually the first step before she starts spouting off in a ridiculous faux British-Kentucky accent and hooking up with scruffy paparazzi types.

And she seems to have totally given up wearing bras lately. Now, if this was Brit circa 2000, that would be kind of ok, at least for most men ages zero to pervy. But after two kids and the negative G-force of gravity? It's like walking in on your parents having sex. Not pleasant.

And, there are rumors that Britney's been abusing diet pills, even going so far as to wash them down with energy drinks. Reportedly, she's got her assistant buying over-the-counter pills to fly under Papa Spears' radar. Combining all that with whatever psych meds she's supposed to be on is a recipe for disaster.

"Britney was definitely trying to get high by taking too many diet pills and energy drinks," says a family insider. "Jamie thinks the combination of the two is making her whacked-out and, causing her to lash out in weird angry rampages."

Right, we get it. It's the "diet pills" that are making her crazy. We're with ya. *wink*

The Enquirer broke the story of Britney's collapse during rehearsal last week, said to be a result of low blood sugar, something her father allegedly wants to keep quiet. Guilty conscience? We guess that's what happens when you live on the blood and sweat of your children.

After Michael Jackson's cutting-his-dad-out-of-his-will thing, Papa Spears will keep Brit Brit on lock-down, er, provide tender and caring court-mandated support, and spend her cash while the getting is good. Dance, Cash Cow, Dance!

So unless Brit makes a grab for the hair clippers again, her father has her black card and a mid-life crisis to fund. Judging by Jon Gosselin, Ed Hardy shirts and bad hair plugs are all the rage.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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