Plus, Katie Holmes Is A Flaming Dancing Queen

* Jude Law will soon become a father for the fourth time. His spokesperson issued a statement confirming that he knocked up some unnamed girl he had a "relationship" with last year. And by "relationship" they really mean "a drunken one-night stand that Jude didn't even remember until the 'who's your daddy?' Hallmark card and sonogram showed up in the mail," right?

* Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were spotted at a McDonald's Drive-Thru recently picking up two Happy Meals and two iced coffees. This can only mean one thing: THEY'VE FINALLY SPLIT UP OMG DEFINITELY.

* Playboy reality star and former Hef squeeze Kendra Wilkinson is writing a memoir. It is set to be called Visualizing a Naked Old Man as a Giant Oversized Novelty Check in 3 Easy Steps.

* Jon Gosselin told Us Magazine I don't want my kids Googling me. That's understandable, cause who wants to see their bloated and balding dad with his Hooters rejects on the way to the free clinic and have to explain STDs for show and tell?

* Chris Brown and Rihanna might have had a secret rendezvous. Choo choo! Hear that? That was the sympathy train leaving the station. Next stop: "Really?! Girl, Next Time Try To Get Your Hands Up 'Cause Using Your Face Didn't Really Work Out So Well Last Time."

* Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush have called it quits due to "conflicting schedules" and "their lives going in different directions." More likely, Reggie finally recovered from his two-year concussion after all those sacks on the field and realized that he was shtuppin' Ray J's sloppy seconds. Besides, if he likes being behind enormous asses he just has to wait for his offensive lineman to set their blocks before bolting into the back of them and then falling down.

* Katie Holmes was almost car-b-qued last weekend on the Australian set of new film Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. Holmes was shooting a scene inside a car when the vehicle's battery exploded -- sparking smoke and fumes -- before the car then caught fire. The fact that Katie's new film is about a "woman stalked by evil gnomes" is almost as fitting as Jennifer Aniston starring in The Break Up or Ashton Kutcher starring in the made-for-TV classic Talentless Douche: Seriously, Please Go Away. And if that flaming fireball isn't a metaphor for her performance on Dancing With The Stars, marriage to Tommy Boy and what's left of her "career," we don't know what is!

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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