Banks' Poo Episode Pretty Much Sums Up How Much This Sucks

Auto sales might be in the crapper but the weave and tobacco industries report record earnings thanks to Tyra Banks and Katherine Heigl single-handedly keeping them in business.

TyTy and Heigl topped Forbes' annual list of the highest paid women in prime-time television. This is going to send Oprah into a carbs binge the size of Tyra's five-head.

This year, TyTy brought in $30 million from "America's Next Top Model," "The MEMEMEME Show," and her other TV projects. Who else would be able to take a job that's broadly based upon genetics and the ability to wear clothes and make it sound even more complicated than advanced pediatric neuroscience to justify their fortune so deftly?

Katherine Heigl brought in $18 million for "Grey's Anatomy" and her Jennifer Aniston rom-com rejects. We're surprised Heigl didn't try to withdraw from the list at the last moment citing bad material that could have affected Forbes' analysis.

When Katherine returns from her TV gig hiatus, everyone should pretend they don't know her and that her character never existed. That would be hilarious. Katherine? Katherine who? We don't know a Katherine, they'd shrug as security comes to tase her and drag her off the premises.

The rest of the list:

3. Marg Helgenberger - $9.5 million
4. Eva Longoria Parker - $9 million
5. Mariska Hargitay - $8.5 million
6. Julia Louis-Dreyfus - $8 million (tie)
6. Maura Tierney - $8 million (tie)
8. Tina Fey - $7 million
9. Marcia Cross - $6.2 million
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt - $6 million

Jennifer Love "Pear Ass" Hewitt makes $6 million this year!? How is that even possible?

People, this is how the terrorists win.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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