This Is The WORST Idea For a Viagra Commercial EVER

File this one under: Ewwwwww.

Just when you thought it was safe to flip back to David Letterman and his stupid pet tricks without any more icky personal revelations, the talk show host has been rocked by yet another tawdry bombshell reports of a sex tape showing him doing the mattress mambo with a much younger female staff member.

Great. We're STILL recovering from the one with Mini-Me.

Late Night With David Letterman snoops tell The National Enquirer that studio surveillance tapes caught the 62-year-old comic in a series of -- er -- compromising positions with a twentysomething he met as a staffer. Dave is reportedly worried that the tape is going to end up on the internet.

If the tape makes its way into the criminal case, it'll explode his marriage to smithereens, says a source.

They add, It's one thing for him to have publicly admitted to having had sexual relations with some women on his staff. It's another to see him in the throes of passion with one of those women."

"Throes of passion?" Ack, where's the brain bleach!!??

We can't think of a single reason why in God's name anyone would EVER want to watch a creaky old man and his salt-and-pepper pubes getting it one with some woman.

Well, maybe we can think of one or two ...

Top 10 Reasons You Might Watch David Letterman's Sex Tape

10. You're legally blind

9. It's pledge week

8. You ignored the NSFW warning on the email your friend forwarded to you

7. Someone's holding a gun to your head

6. You've got a bad case of the "church giggles" and nothing else has been able to make it stop

5. You're conducting a scientific experiment to see if it's a) better than b) the same as or c) worse than Faces of Death

4. Your mama always said that you weren't too bright

3. You're curious to see if Dave can do any tricks with that space between his teeth, you know, like tie a knot in a cherry stem or something

2. After a Lindsay Lohan sized coke-binge, you hit "play" thinking it was an ATM

. . . And the number one reason you might watch a David Letterman sex tape

1) It was that or Tara Reid's nude Playboy pics

At least sidekick Paul Shaffer can provide the music instead of the usual cheesy bom chicka wah wah porn riff.

Ed McMahon would have done the same for Johnny.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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