Who Knew Golf Was This Exciting?

Hos the left of me, hos to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle again.

It's official: Tiger Woods' life has become a bad honky tonk song as the inevitable parade of strippers try to score their own reality show by claiming they slept with him.

Rachel Uchitel can kindly step out of the spotlight now, because there's a new trick on the scene.

Jaimee Grubbs, a LA cocktail waitress, says she had a 31-month affair with Woods and claims to have 300 texts, steamy voicemails and pictures from Tiger which proves that they did it on the down low exactly 20 times.

Us magazine has released a few of the text messages Woods allegedly sent to Jaimee:

I will wear you outwhen was the last time you got (bleeped)?

Another one from Tiger read, Send me something very naughtyGo to the bathroom and take (a picture).

Dude, really? You're banging some chick that didn't make it off the For the Love of Ray J casting couch and had to settle for a role on Tool Academy? Jesus Christ. You're Tiger frigging Woods!

And according to a source, ANOTHER woman has voice mails from Tiger and is in talks with a national outlet to reveal her sexual affair with the golfing great. Several national media outlets are in contact with other women who say the have had sexual contact with Tiger while he was married.

Honestly, if you are cheating, why be so blatant and STUPID and make it easy to trace? Emails, text messages, voicemails all of these things can be traced back to you. Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of having 'secret' affairs??? That's like page 23 of the Cheating For Dummies handbook.

Tiger better do some stretching exercises and sleep in a pair of Nike high performance running shoes because his wife Elin Nordegren is waxing her favorite nine-iron for round two.

We don't know if you've ever seen a woman drive a guy's nuts 465 yards on to the fairway, but if you're interested, head over to Tiger's house. Turn left at the busted tree.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
	Read More >>