The Pussycat Dolls Might Be Dunzo. Oh, Well. Cross Bothering To Learn Any Of Their Names Off Your To-Do List

* Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are getting flack from child experts and foot doctors who claim that 3-year-old Suri is messing up her tiny feet by strutting the streets in kitten heels. But Stepford Katie says the Chosen One loves playing with Tommy Girl's high heels and doesn't think there's anything wrong with her wearing them out and about. Geez, calm down, people! In a couple of years, Tommy Girl is going to confiscate all of Suri's prized heels because he's not going to like walking around with a 5-year-old daughter who is taller than him. Tommy Girl will not be shown up like that!

* Megan Fox might want to ask Santa Claus for a copy of "How to Make Friends and Influence People" for Christmas this year. Tensions are apparently still high from the open letter calling her a "thankless, unfriendly bitch" because she was noticeably absent from Michael Bay's reunion party for the cast and crew of Transformers, according to Page Six. At this point, it's safe to assume these two will never be in the same room together until it's time to film Transformers 3: Hollywood Has Completely Run Out Of Good Ideas.

* Once upon a time, rapper Jay-Z was totally cool. Now, not so much, after he refused to even walk the red carpet or pose with models at the Victoria Secret's fashion show and after party. A source told Page Six: "Victoria's Secret begged, but Jay-Z refused . . . he explained it was out of respect for Beyoncé." What the ...? Isn't the whole reason for becoming rich and famous so that you can share your bed and bodily fluids with supermodels? Congratulations, Beyonce. You've turned Jay-Z into a bigger spineless wuss than Pete Wentz. Now Lil' Wayne and the other cool kids will only pass him the Courvoisier in a sippy cup.

* Audrina Patridge's solo reality show has been picked up by MTV. We're going to assume she'll be in a bikini the entire time unless their goal is to bore their audience into comas.

* James Franco raised more than a few eyebrows when he signed on for stint on General Hospital but evidently the sudsy role is really all about his love of performance art. As he wrote an essay in the Wall Street Journal, "I have been obsessed with performance art for over a decadeever since the Mexican performance artist Guillermo Gómez-Peña came to visit my class at Cal Arts summer school. I finally took the plunge and experimented with the form myself when I signed on to appear on 20 episodes of "General Hospital" Okkkaay. This so-called "art" is lost on us because we just figured he was desperate for money. Our bad.

* Nicolas Cage owes the IRS bucket loads of money and is suing his manager for leading him "down a path of financial ruin," but a look at his purchases shows he has the spending habits of Kim Zolciak let loose with Big Poppa's Mastercard. He outbid Leonardo DiCaprio for a dinosaur skull in 2007, shelling out $276,000 for the artifac and he once shelled out $495,000 for a USED Lamborghini. And while portraying an alcoholic in Leaving Las Vegas, he hired -- wait for it -- an "on set drinking-consultant-poet." An "on set drinking-consultant-poet?" Really? Talk about the most awesome job in the world: "Yeah, so, mostly you just sit around drinking bottles of whatever until they're empty or you start crying and sucking your thumb for no apparent reason. That poetic enough for you? Good, now shut up and watch me pass out in my own vomit."

* Get our your Kleenex. The Pussycat Dolls may be breaking up. None of the members are speaking to Nicole Sherzinger who they think stole the limelight and went off to do her own solo album. This will no doubt send shock waves through the music industry. Where else will we find five mildly attractive women to dance provocatively while dressed up in skanky outfits and lip sync to poppy studio manufactured songs? It's not like you can just get these people off the street. Oh, wait ...

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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