Tila To Mourn In Black Lingerie And Constant Twitter Updates

Tila Tequila ruins everything--MySpace, literature, the Internet.

And now her "fiancee," Johnson and Johnson heiress Casey Johnson was found dead in Los Angeles yesterday morning. Casey was just 30.

Now, we're not saying Tila had anything to do with Casey's death. But like drinking water straight from the tap in Mexico, nothing good was going to come of hooking up with her. It was as inevitable as a persistent rash after unprotected sex with Paris Hilton. We bet what really happened is that Casey realised she was engaged to Tila goddamn Tequila and died of shame on the spot.

A law enforcement source says it appears Johnson had been dead for several days before her body was discovered. Tila told TMZ that she had not heard from Casey since December 28th. The two had a fight that day. Tila tried to call Casey the next day, but her phone was shut off.

"At this point, it appears to be a natural death," LAPD spokesperson Sara Faden tells Usmagazine.com. "There was no evidence of foul play. The coroner's office will now take over the investigation and conduct their toxicology screenings."

Tila confirmed the tragic news on her Twitter: "Everyone please pray 4 my Wifey Casey Johnson. She has passed away. Thank u for all ur love and support but I will be offline to be w family."

Good to see that Tila was so distraught she can only tweet her feelings every couple of minutes rather than second by second. True sadness right here.

Casey's name was getting play all over the Internet recently after a few modern-day "Poor Little Rich Girl" episodes that Lifetime will undoubtedly churn out in their newest made-for-TV movie: Death and Tragedy Of The Rich And Famous For Soccer Moms' Entertainment (starring Tori Spelling, of course).

Her mother had apparently cut Casey off in an attempt to force her daughter into rehab and her parents had custody of her adopted daughter after friends said Casey would abandon the girl for days at a time to party. She was arrested for allegedly stealing fancy clothes and baubles from a supermodel ex. And just a few weeks ago, Casey and Tila announced they were engaged to be "married."

Not to make light of this tragedy, but we hope Tila knows that just because you call someone your "wifey" on your Twitter doesn't legally entitle you to their enormous inheritance. So she can put those thoughts of a diamond-encrusted thong and pasties set right out of her tiny famewhoring head.

By Paige Muller  

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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