Tiger Woods Might Have Slept With A Dude But That Doesn't Make Him Gay. No, He Just Really, REALLY Likes Sex!

* Tyra Banks tried to one up Oprah by ending her talk show Me Me Me Me Me Me The Tyra Banks Show, after the current season one year earlier than the Queen of All Media. We hate to be so blunt here, but you dirty lying whore! Turns out TyTy GOT CANCELLED. Somewhere Oprah lets out another notch on her belt and savors another creamy confection flavored with the misery of others: Flawless victory.

* It's a New Year's miracle: Mischa Barton and Sharon Stone somehow found work. Misha will play a ho on Law and Order: Special Victim Unit and Stone has signed on to play a prosecutor in four episodes. When did Law and Order become the career rehab has-beens? Executives at VH-1 must be in a panic.

* After dating four whole months, Russell Brand and Katy Perry feel ready to make their lurve legit. The two reportedly got engaged five days ago while on a trip to Jaipur, India. And why not, he likes kissing girls and so does she. It's First Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Omar, now these two. God, they're like walking arguments in support of gay marriage. Anyway, we hope they are happy together and annoy each other every second of the day like they do everyone else.

* Speaking of getting hitched, Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood, that chick he Frankensteined to look like his ex-wife Dita Von Teese, barely got back together last month and The Mirror is saying they're already engaged. It's an emo kid's Halloween-themed wedding dream come true! Uh, Evan? You're supposed to hook up with some old guy who's WORTH millions, not a guy who looks like death that no one in their right mind would touch for even a million dollars. Maybe she didn't get the memo.

* It didn't take Lindsay Lohan long to break her resolution to avoid drama in 2010. Probably because she was passed out and just sobered up. Someone stole LiLo's sketches for her 6126 clothing line and she's pointing her favorite snorting finger at her best gay Patrick "Pootie" Aufdenkamp. One of LiLo's friends said that Pootie (gesundheit!) is launching his own fashion line in NYC next month and is planning to use her designs. There must be a reasonable explanation because no self-respecting gay would ever try to claim Lindsay's meth head designs as their own. He probably dumped the drawings in the trash, so to Pootie, a grateful nation says, "Thanks!"

* Ryan O'Neal and the late Farrah Fawcett's son Redmond was arrested for the ten zillionth time for violating probation while he was out on a 24-hour pass from court-ordered rehab. The LAPD didn't give details on how he violated his probation, but they did say it was a "a drug-related" offense. Nooooooo ... The thud you just heard was Farrah rolling over in her grave. Ryan was too busy hitting on his daughter to care.

* Kourtney Kardashian is an idiot. She did the math and came up with two possible baby daddies instead of one. D-oh! She insists boyfriend Scott Disick is the father of baby Mason but model and aspiring rapper Premo Stallone (hey, isn't he an extra on Jersey Shore?) has stepped up to say the lucky sperm was his. Look, let's just skip the paternity tests and name Jude Law as the proud papa. Isn't not like he'll notice an extra kid or two.

* Charlie Sheen isn't letting a little thing like domestic abuse keep him away from work. Sure, he'd probably call in sick for a cold but threating his wife with a knife, "I'll be in at nine. Oh, what the heck, I'll even come in early." What a trooper. He was even cracking jokes at a table read for his show Two and a Half Men where a producer asked, "Charlie, what did YOU do for the holidays?" As everyone laughed, Charlie answered, "Well, I met Kobe Bryant's bail bondsman!" And that marks the first time in history that anyone laughed at anything related to Two And A Half Men.

* Former Playboy model Loredana Jolie is claiming that she saw Tiger Woods get it on with other dudes. And she would know since she's a card-carrying member of the Tiger Woods Mistress Club. There is no proof but we believe it. Have you SEEN Tiger's gallery of whores? At least two of them look like they still have to stop and think when deciding whether to use the men's or women's restroom.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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