And For Her Next Trick ...

Now that her two-second mourning period is over, Tila Tequila has gone back to her whiteboard of lies and delusions (how else is she supposed to keep all the crazy crap she comes up with straight?) and is now saying she's definitely knocked up.

Just a few weeks ago, she announced that she was pregnant with her brother and his wife's fetus. A quick second later, she took it all back, saying she was "trying to get pregnant but wasn't yet."

Well, this time she REALLY means it. She blogged about it in CAP LOCKS and everything so you know she's sincere.

THE BIG NEWS EVERYONE: TILA TEQUILA IS OFFICALLY PREGNANT, 100%

CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & THIS BABY WAS NO "ACCIDENT" EITHER!!!!!!!!

IT IS A TRULY TOUCHING STORY THAT I WILL TELL YOU ONE

DAY......BUT I GOT PREGNANT FOR CASEY! BECAUSE SHE WATED TO START

A FAMILY AND SINCE SHE ALREADY HAD AN ADOPTED DAUGHTER, SHE

WANTED ME TO BECOME THE PREGNANT ONE!!!!!!!!!! BUT NOW THAT SHE

IS GONE.... A NEW LIFE IS BORN AND I KNOW HER SPIRITS ARE IN MY

BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE BABY GROWING INSIDE OF ME RIGHT NOW! I AM SO

HAPPY! MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE BIGTIME! I AM GOING TO BE A

MOTHER AND I CANNOT WAIT! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR

SUCH A LONG TIME! AND NOW, MY BABY JAYDEN, HAS FINALLY COME BACK

TO MOMMY!

NEVER FEAR THO, THAT DOES NOT MEAN I STILL WON'T HAVE A LOUD

MOUTH BUSTIN A CAP ON BITCHES WHO TALK SHIT ABOUT ME! LMAO....I

WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME GIRL....THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS NOW....I

AM GOING TO HAVE A BABY AND WILL BE A FANTASTIC MOTHER! AS FAR AS TILA TEQUILA, OH DON'T WORRY, SHE WILL STILL BE AROUND TO MAKE

YOU LAUGH AND DO CRAZY THINGS...BUT WOW I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST

TOLD THE WORLD MY SECRET!!!!!!!! TILA TEQUILA IS PREGNANT! I KNOW

A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS BUT LETS TAKE IT

SLOW HERE. I DONT WANT TO GET OVERWHELMED NOR EXPLOIT MY CHILD

AND WHO THE FATHERS CHILD IS. FOR NOW, I AM PREGNANT AND THAT IS

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU GOD! YOU TOOK AWAY THE

LOVE OF MY LIFE, BUT GAVE ME SOMETHING EVEN BETTER, A NEW LIFE

THAT I BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD!!! THANK YOU!

Tila continued to work her unborn publicity stunt at Kitson Kids by posing with a plastic baby doll held against her equally fake chest like a graduate from Phoebe Price's School of Paparazzi Poses.

Tila's whole act is like Brit Brit's Meltdown: The B-Sides. The wig. The crazy talk. The everything. But Tila's act needs a bigger budget 'cause this is some public access mess right here.

That said, if there should be a fetus in there, thus negating the existence of God, child services better be attaching these pics to a requisition form seeking custody. In triplicate. Seriously, you people dropped the ball with Britney, now it's time to get it right!

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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