Plans To Focus On Her Film Career And Alienating Others

From now on, every day is going to be party on the set of Grey's Anatomy. Eternally crabby actress Katherine Heigl hasn't returned to work despite her three-month maternity leave ending on March 1.

Word is executive producer Shonda Rhimes has finally agreed to unshackle her from the burden of a steady paycheck on a successful TV show. Heigel and her minions are currently working on an exit agreement with ABC. A good exit deal would be too kick her in the ass and tell her not to let the door hit her on the way out. And then make sure the door hits her on the way out. Heigel isn't expected to return to set and her final episode has already come and gone.

Viewers were begging for a climatic ending to Heigl's character but were only teased with Dr. Izzie's bout of cancer. Or, at least that is what people tell us--like most people who are under the age of 80, we don't watch the show.

Heigel is now free to follow her dreams over the rainbow to the Land of Ungrateful Shrews to star in more mediocre romantic comedies. Uh, yay?

Oh, hold on a second. Katherine, someone would like to have a word with you . . .

Katherine, this is film actor David Caruso. Yes, film, Katherine. Oh, you only know me from CSI: Witchita? No really! I was a movie star. I starred in one movie. No, Katherine, I'm not kidding. Of course you're right, Katherine. Those meanies at "Grey's" don't appreciate your craft. And those bastards in "Knocked Up?" Yeah,
TOTALLY jealous. You're a star! A Star!

Don't worry Katherine, Dancing With The Has-Beens will be there to see you through the lean years, aka 2010 and beyond.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
	Read More >>