Evidently "I Got Away From My Buddhism" Is The New "My Bad"

Tiger Woods didn't even have so much as a "no comment" for three months after assaulting that innocent fire hydrant with his Escalade. Now the guy won't stop apologizing to everyone for everything he's ever done, including that one time he stole the answers to a spelling test in the fourth grade.

On Sunday, Woods gave his first hard-hitting, super-secret interview since the Most Important Public Apology By a Famous Golfer Of All Time to ESPN. Tiger allowed ESPN's Tom Rinaldi to ask him whatever he wanted as long as it was under 5-minutes. Watch it here.

With a hard-nosed interviewer and Tiger's desire to open up once and for all, he said ... pretty much nothing. He basically said that he did some pretty bad things (yeah, we've seen all those bad things on The Insider by now) and gave such humble answers as "that's a private matter", "that's also a private matter," "that's between Elin and myself", and "once again, that's between Elin and myself."

We can't imagine why the question, "So, why were you stooping women who aren't your wife?" didn't make it past his PR hacks.

When asked what he's learned from this whole ordeal, Tiger gave perhaps his most honest answer, "You gotta get a pre-paid phone, man. You're just asking to get caught if you text. Wait, that was off the record, right?"

Seriously, why the heck did Tiger Woods agree to do this? Instead of "answering" these obviously rehearsed and pre-screened questions, ESPN should have just filmed him with his hands over his ears and shaking his head with his eyes closed screaming "La la la la la la I can't hear you la la la la la la!!!"

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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