He Is The New Tiger Woods

Hark! An unidentified object has been reported in the sky over L.A. Is it a bird? A plane? No, it's a dollar sign, the universal whore signal that's visible only to skeevy gold-diggers when there's a celebrity sex scandal and easy money to be made. Because a tabloid check is like red kryptonite to a ho.

Answering the call, Jesse James' third extra marital mistress. Unlike the other two, this one doesn't thrust her crotch for a dollar. Brigitte Daguerre is a photographer from Los Angeles who says the two emailed and texted each other for a year, but claims they only had sex 4 times before she cut it off. ONLY four times. Well, alrighty then. So she's just kind of a whore, not a full on skank. Must be like being a little bit pregnant.

Brigitte and Jesse exchanged hundreds of sext messages, and he even told her that he wanted to be her monkey. What the heck is with Vanilla Gorilla's thing for monkeys?! Though considering his taste in tattooed women, a little KoKo lovin' would actually be an upgrade.

Throughout the exchanges, Jesse repeatedly asked Daguerre to send pictures and set up rendezvous. In one exchange, Daguerre complained that Jesse wasn't letting loose. He explains, I'm texting you in secret. Jesse doesn't get the whole "Save As" thing, does he?

You know, we didn't think anyone could surface who'd make Tiger Woods look like the good guy, but damn if Jesse didn't pull it off. Tiger might be a philandering, whore-mongering, black-hearted cheater, yes, but he messed around on a snooty foreign model, not America's sweetheart. The only way Jesse could be less popular with the American public now is if he spray painted the Statue of Liberty and then burned the American flag on his lawn.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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