Too Bad She Didn't Figure That Out Before Her Latest Box-Office Bomb

The motto in Hollywood seems to be: the more money you have, the less god damn sense you have (yeah, we're giving you the bish side eye, Nicolas Cage).

Instead of buying a new personality or say, a shade of Miss Clairol in something other than the most boring hair color known to man, Jennifer Aniston has shelled out for a life coach.

According to reports:

Jennifer Aniston's longtime acting coach is now her life coach, too. Leigh Kilton-Smith, who has worked with Jen for 20 years, is now advising the star on all personal and career matters: She vets prospective boyfriends, helps her practice feng shui on her home and even helps choose acting projects, hoping to pull Jen out of her current career slump, according to an insider.

We have no idea what she's paying this person for because Jennifer seems to be ignoring them completely like a bartender telling Lindsay Lohan that it's last call for the 100th time.

We imagine their "sessions" are something like this:

LC: You know, the script for the Bounty Hunter really sucks.

Jen: But it'd be a real stretch for me. I'd be playing a Rachel Green type character. But with a GUN! Totally different (tosses hair).

LC: John Mayer is maybe ... not the type of man you should date.

Jen: There's nothing wrong with dating a younger man! (tosses hair to the other side) Young ... like the baby that I will never have with Brad. Maybe I'll adopt him. Yeah, that'll show that bitch Angelina! She might have an entire child army but I'll have a man who will never leave me because he'll be mine, mine, MINE forever. Why are you backing away from me like that?

Sigh.

Jennifer Aniston should save her money. She doesn't need a life coach. What she needs is a sassy black friend (SBF) who will tell her when she's being an idiot.

Another rom-com?

SBF: If you think you're dragging me to another one of those lame ass movies, you've got another thing coming. Besides, how much longer do you think you can get away with playing "young single?" Katherine Heigl's coming for your career, girl.

Pretend-dating some douche for publicity?

SBF: When US Weekly comes out with another "Jennifer Aniston and (Insert Name Here) Break Up" cover, don't even THINK about calling me up in the middle of the night to whine and wanting to come over for some "it's not you, it's him" and ice cream BS. Call up Courtney Cox for that nonsense.

After a few finger snaps in her face and inappropriately loud conversations in public places, Jen will learn. Oh, yes she will learn.

Say, Aisha Taylor isn't busy these days is she?

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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