Wonder if TomKat Lent Them a Turkey Baster?

The things you can do with aluminum foil, porn of sailors on shore leave and a sh**load of vodka.

John Travolta and his beard Kelly Preston have announced that the sacred fertility ritual of their home planet (John, just close your eyes and think of Tom Cruise and E.T. in a three-way) was a success.

They are expecting a a screaming human larva to be expelled from Kelly's uterus sometime in the late fall. The Chosen One Suri Cruise has already ordered a copy of Joe Jackson's "It Does What It's Told Or It Gets The Hose Again" DVD to welcome the newest minion into her trophy child army.

The New York Daily News reports:

John Travolta and Kelly Preston, whose son died a year ago from a seizure, said Tuesday night they are expecting a new addition to our family It's impossible to
keep a secret especially one as wonderful as this. We are expecting a new addition to our family, the Pulp Fiction star and his wife wrote on their Web site.

We can't wait until the baby is born and starts speaking in the voice of Bruce Willis,
just like in that old John Travolta movie Look Who's Talking.

It's wonderful news. Obviously the new baby will never be a replacement for Jett, but its arrival should help to ease the misery of the last year. Now all John Travolta has to do is make some better films, realize that he believes in something that's quite clearly nonsense and buy a more convincing wig and he'll be completely right as rain again.

Babysteps first, though.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
	Read More >>