Wait . . . We Thought We Were All In Agreement That Alicia Was A Lesbian

Up to now, the only thing anyone really knew about Alicia Keys was that she ended up playing the piano in the park in the snow with a sad look on her face in EVERY single one of her videos. And that she never managed to look good in a pair of pants. Like EVER.

But Alicia is changing all that now that she's gotten herself knocked up by her boyfriend, music producer Swizz Beatz, who just happens to be married to someone else. F-flat! This is some Britney Spears sh*t right here.

But it's not like Alicia is a harlot or anything because she and Swizz are engaged after he swore that this is the LAST time he'd cheat and impregnate another woman. Well, that's alright then. As long as he really, REALLY means it this time.

The couple plan to get married in a private ceremony later this year. This will be
Alicia's first baby. It will be Swizz Beatz's third.

In case you haven't heard the whispers on the playground, Swizz is currently going through a messy divorce from his wife Mashonda. It got even dirtier after Mashonda wrote an open letter accusing Alicia Keys ofSienna Miller-ing her marriage.

But worse than that, he actually goes by the name "Swizz Beatz." Nothing says "I am uneducated and ignorant" like a stupid name you've given yourself

Alicia Keys is probably overjoyed. Not only is she set to be a first-time parent, she'll also get to hear Swizz Beatz's other two kids constantly yell at her, You're not my real mother! That's what every little girl dreams of.

Now she can write a new snatch batch of songs for her next album release: "Songs in the Key of Ho."

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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