Just Watch, He'll Probably Only Serve Two And A Half Day

Hurray, for the legal system!

While Chace Crawford was getting busted like a coke mule for one measly joint, Charlie Sheen has been free to terrorize the nation with his god-awful TV show instead of sitting in jail for threatening to kill his wife.

Jack McCoy's bushy eyebrows of justice are raised in utter indignation.

It was reported last month that Sheen was facing up to 45 days in jail for that pesky little domestic incident on Christmas Day in Aspen. But luckily for him, he plead guilty and struck a plea to serve only 30 days. Even better, he's serving his time in Aspen, the only place more lenient on crime-committing celebrities than Switzerland.

Charlie is eligible for work release while he serves his 30-day sentence for third degree misdemeanor assault. Instead of having to worry about not dropping the soap, Charlie will work at Theatre Aspen, a renowned professional theater, where he will coach actors, help in the fundraising department and perform various other tasks. So basically it's the James Lipton probation program. Well, no doubt this will scare him straight.

It's nice to know that if you're a high-profile celebrity, you can get away with threatening to murder your spouse with a knife. Perhaps the best perk of fame isn't the money or random sluts throwing themselves at you, but the one thing that playing the game of Monopoly is best known for: the "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

As for coaching actors, what exactly is he supposed to be teaching them? Charlie's on Two and Half Men for god's sake! The only advice he can give them them has nothing to do with acting: don't pay for your hookers with a check that has your name on it. That's just doing the cop's job for them.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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