Britney's 'Circus' Tour Lives Up To Its Name

Following on the high heels of her TMI gyno gaffe, Britney Spears confused her audience at her Circus show on Tuesday by wishing them a Merry Christmas. Of course, it might have been the pop star's little insider joke after the lovely $2.7 million she gifted to her lawyers in legal fees for the first 11 months of her conservatorship. But papa Jamie Spears might had to hide Brit's hair clippers, just to be on the safe side.

*Disneyland is not quite the happiest place on earth for Joe Jonas at the moment. First, he was caught imitating Miley Cyrus' "Asian face" and now girlfriend Camilla Belle may be stepping out with a hot tennis player. Powerful pecs trump purity rings every time, bro. Somewhere, Taylor Swift is laughing.

*Ashlee Simpson might be looking to take up permanent residence at Melrose Place. Page Six reports that trouble is brewing in the other Simpson sis and Pete Wentz's marriage. And here we thought a pregnacy-fueled rush to the altar and Pete's frat boy antics would bring the couple closer together. But here's hoping all the rumors are just that for their baby's sake. The kid's going to have hard enough time being named Bronx Mowgli without coming from a broken home too.

*Lindsay Lohan told E! News that reports about her all-out brawling relationship with Sam Ronson are "garbage." She adds, "I don't drink, I don't do drugs, and I don't lie." Bravo, Linds! We totally don't understand why she's not getting acting gigs. Saying all of that with a completely straight face is truly Oscar-worthy. And that porn-y sounding commercial, we're ferklumpt. Words just can not describe how moved we were by that performance, except . . . You. Go. Girl. Right. Back. To. Rehab.

*It must have been Take Your Dad To Your Stripping Gig" day last week when Hulk Hogan claimed front row seats at his daughter Brooke Hogan's pole-dancing performance. "Of course I was there," Hulk told Life & Style Weekly. "I'd watch my daughter perform no matter what she does." Totally understandable, Hulk. Every parent wants to be on hand to witness the special moment's in their daughters' life . . . first steps, first words, first pole dance. Hopefully he brought his video camera to tape footage for the grandparents.

*Zac Efron likes getting down and dirty in pics, but according to noses who know, Twilight star Robert Pattinson smells like he has been communing with nature in an up close and "what is thing you call soap?" kind of way. He stinks. I mean, it's awful. He never showers, and it drives people on the set crazy, dishes someone who wants to remain nameless but who reportedly toils in very close quarters with the Pattz Man. Maybe his funk is just better than garlic to keep the lusty ladies down to a manageable number.

*Jennifer Love Hewitt-enthusiast Jamie Kennedy goes the Full Monty in his new movie. Uh, that may be more of Jamie Kennedy than America and Canada is quite ready to experience. For his sake, we hope his package is more impressive than his comic act or we'll really have something to laugh at.

*Beyonce, like Katie Holmes, could said to be "valiantly" boosting New York's economy by buying diamond-encrusted undergarments. Seriously. When Beyonce
visited Patricia Field's Bowery boutique recently she spent $11,000 in 20 minutes, according to Page Six. Perhaps her flashiest purchase was a black, diamond studded bra. This must be want they mean by having more money than
sense. Guess she's just too boobilicious.

By Paige Muller

Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
		About the author:
		Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.
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