Wed, May 23 2012

Like Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer's Just Not That Into Twitter Anymore

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Social Networking Site Is Heartbroken, Pining For Posts From Brad Pitt

Just when Jennifer Aniston decides to throw in the matrimonial towel and pretend she's happy being single, ex John Mayer ends his love affair with the interloper that supposedly broke them up -- Twitter.

Yes, evidently the guitar-playing gigolo was two-timing Jen with the entire Twitterverse. The Sun reported that Jen gave John his walking papers because (ready?) he was using Twitter too often.

Jennifer was starting to question John's devotion when he was constantly "super busy with work, babe" but somehow managed to find the time to obsessively update his Twitter. Since Jen isn't plugged into the Internets, she must have missed one of Ashton Kutcher's "Rules for a Happy Relationship": that couple that tweets together, stays together.

But John now tells E! that he thinks the social networking site is "silly and dumb." To which we reply, it is what you make it, buddy. Your cheez-whiz fest posts about a heart and instructions aren't exactly New York Times caliber political insights, Mr. Two-Steps-Away-From-Singing-In-A-Vegas-Lounge.

He adds, "If you really think that Twitter is the pathway to spiritual enlightenment, well...It's one step away from sending pictures of your poop." Or Demi Moore's butt.

"I've always communicated at a high level as best I can whether it's Twitter, Napster or message boards or wherever," Mayer said. "I don't have a devotion to Twitter. I didn't
sell out to Twitter. You do Twitter until everybody gets off of Twitter and it's something else you go and try out."

Even in cyber space John can't commit. He's like a social network-izer. As for his recent breakup with Jen, Mayer so far hasn't said a said. Guess we'll have to wait for the next Tweeter update for the details since his telltale book deal isn't happening.

In the meantime, Jen might want to think about taking some computer classes or something if she's going to keep dipping in the kiddie pool for dates. We can't wait to see her avatar!

By Paige Muller


Paige Muller, Gossip & Hollywood Hijinx
About the author:

Paige Muller is a gossip gal with an appreciation – some would say obsession – for Hollywood hijinx, celebrity style and the latest fashion trends.  From who hooked up, who's knocked up and "WTF are they wearing?", Paige offers all the dish, with a side of snark. When not pondering Jennifer Aniston's perplexing post-breakup PR strategy, Paige is a published writer and communications professional who has worked with brands like Dove, L'Oreal, More magazine, Gap and WE: Woman's Entertainment.

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