Dear Maria: Is it ok for the girl to make the first move?

Dear Maria,

I went on a great date with a REALLY cute guy. The vibe was great, lots of flirting, light touches throughout the night and I felt like we were really into each other. Then at the end of the date he drove me home but didn't even try to hug me. No hug, no kiss...My question is: Should I have made the move and kissed him? Is it ok to initiate the first kiss? I don't want him to think I'm too forward.

Sincerely,

Hopeless in Halifax

Dear Hopeless in Halifax,

Let a man be a man. This probably isn't his first date. He knows what is expected. He should be able to take charge of the situation and since you seem like a strong girl, at least give him that! Of course it's okay to initiate the kiss if the circumstance asks for it. But small cues, like leaning forward, whispering into his ear that you had a great time, delaying your entrance to your home, should all suffice for him to step in and kiss you.

According to you, the vibe was great, there was lots of flirting, and there were light touches throughout the evening. But then, he didn't give you a good night hug or a kiss, after a first date, which somewhere in your insecurity has manifested into self-doubt.

First dates are HARD. There's lots of pressure, mostly invested in the last 10 seconds of the date. Should he kiss? Should he do the soft-but-not-too-soft-but-wait-let's-make-sure-you-don't-kill-her-by-hugging-her-too-hard hug? Would she be okay if he tried kissing her on the first date? Does he event want to see her again?

If the date went as well as you claim to be, there may be another. It's only a first date, and if he (or you) doesn't feel that it was all that was expected to be, there may not be another.

Now go by the phone and wait for his call. And no, it's not okay to call him first. Let a man be a man.

Best,

Maria the Date Coach

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Maria Avgitidis
		About the author:
		Maria Avgitidis, or "The Date Coach", provides solutions in dating and relationships. As a fourth generation matchmaker, Maria is an astute observer of how various personality types interact with each other. Together these skills allow her to find and nurture romantic relationships for her clients, and often help improve their platonic relationships as well. For more information on Maria and her services, check her out at http://mariathedatecoach.com
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