The Stuff He Gave You... Keep It Or Kick It?

Gift giving is an essential part of the dating experience. And, if you're like me, you've accumulated enough junk to land you a spot on Hoarders.

That is, if you even kept any of it.

It's not like me to be a pack rat with lovers' leftovers, but there have been a few keepsakes here and there that I've managed to keep... you know, for the sake of it. Letters written in calligraphy (true story), stuffed bears, and other odds and ends.

When I'm single, and as a serial dater I often am, I think nothing of saving storage space for these old tokens of romance. I keep them simply for their nostalgic sentiment. I do not, however, cling to them with hopes of rekindling old flames, nor do I use them to build shrines in commemoration of past loves - I swear. They're just nice to have. That's it. That's all.

But then I wonder: if I've parted ways with the guy, shouldn't I be parting ways with his gifts? Should I throw it out or give it away?

For the most part, it's easy to completely forget that we even own that stuff, it pops up in boxes when we move or we're sifting through the debris of memories past. So far my ex-boyfriend treasury has never been an issue with anyone I've dated, but I can't help but think that it has the potential to eventually hurt or confuse a future love. You may not be yearning for yesterday, but the presence of somebody else's gifts lying around the house could definitely make your significant other feel less than significant.

After all, I'm not so sure I would be okay with discovering that my current boyfriend has a collection of old birthday cards, seashells, and a plush toys his ex. In fact, I'm sure I would be seething. Meanwhile, his reasoning could be exactly the same as my own - it's just something to wistfully look back on. But why? Is that necessary? Where is the line between harmless reminiscence and the inability to let go of the past?

Do you have any gifts of relationships past in your possession? How willing are you to kick them to the curb?

Courtney Gilmour
		About the author:
		Courtney is a published writer, stand-up comic, and shameless Internet enthusiast. She holds a double bachelors degree in English Literature and Communication Media Studies, specializing in semiotic theory, however she doesn't get Shakespeare and has never won a game of Scrabble. Currently she lives in Toronto and works as a writer for WOMAN.CA.
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