Why Peeking Is Almost Never A Good Idea

Tempting, isn't it?

He's out of the room and left his phone there, all by it's lonesome. Maybe the little red light is blinking, beckoning you with it's promise of a juicy secret, sent covertly from a panty-clad relationship saboteur?

Do you do it? Do you pick it up and scroll through his history, see what treasures it holds? Or do you let sleeping dogs lie...

By now, Tiger Woods' text message scandal is common knowledge – poor sex-addicted Tiger. He left his iPhone on the table while he was practising, and Elin snatched it up real quick, hoping she wouldn't find proof of his tricks.

On the one hand, she invaded his privacy – it may not be illegal for a wife to poke around in her husbands phone, but morally, it's pretty wrong. On the other hand, she would never have known what kind of man her husband was, and the kind of danger he was putting herself and their children in (STDs come to mind first, but what of jealous girlfriends?) if she hadn't pulled a Horatio Cane.   

Just because someone as seemingly innocent as Tiger couldn't keep it in his pants doesn't mean your man is trying to embody David Duchovney (on screen or off).

For the most part, rooting around through your other half's (spouse, partner, date) phone is off limits. It's a moral debate of right and wrong. If you've been robbed, you might understand. You feel violated – someone has broken into your private space - your sanctuary - and disturbed the natural order of things.

But relationships are (or should be) based on trust and honesty. Do you believe him when he says he's out with his friends? Working late? Playing ball?

If your first thought is, “I need to poke through his phone to make sure he's telling me the truth” - it's a sign. This isn't a cut and dry science but I'm of the opinion that you should either not be with him, or you have your own personal trust issues you need to work on (i.e. You've been cheated on before and you're worried it'll happen again).

That being said, women do have pretty powerful instincts, and when we're being honest with ourselves, it's one of those things you just know. If he's pulling away or acting odd – doesn't want to have sex, takes late night phone calls in the other room, spends more time “with his friends” than usual or is out of town often, etc., you won't need to poke around his Blackberry for proof.

Confront him, talk about it. If they actually confesses to infidelity (even something as innocuous as sending romantic or sexy texts), and you decide to stay together, it will be on them to prove that they can be trusted not to behave that way again.

Regardless of what I've said, as an adult, you'll make the decisions you want to make. Just remember, sometimes when you go looking for something you don't want to find, you find it.

Image from MorgueFile

Hilary Lauren Fox
		About the author:
		Sometimes she's a redhead, sometimes she's a blonde. Some days it's H&M, and on other days, it's Chanel. What ever the mood, she is a woman who is passionate about the arts, fashion and social media. Born in Toronto, Hilary Lauren Fox is an only child to artist parents - mom was an illustrator and pattern maker, dad was a painter.  Rather then studying the arts as her parents hoped for, Hilary opted for a degree in psychology with dreams of working in a clinical setting. But after graduating she realized that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and that the arts was in her blood, applying her education within the art and fashion world.
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