Trust Is Too Important To Overlook

The basis of every relationship is trust, so when you find yourself experiencing perpetual stomach flips and paranoia with your partner, something is amiss.

Maybe you have residual insecurities from past relationships, or maybe there is legitimate reason for you to be concerned about betrayal from your current partner. No one wants to feel like the wool is being pulled over their eyes, especially by someone who they truly care about.

Unfortunately, sometimes the signs of deception become glaringly obvious after a while. The two of you go from inseparable lovers to strangers at arm's length. Not to mention, his behaviour lately has been off. Is he cheating?

Before you get ahead of yourself and start throwing around accusations,  line up the facts before your suspicions. Observe your interaction with him and look for the following signs:

Stories 
Listen to what he tells you. Pay attention to detail. Do his stories line up? When he tells you he's going out for a beer with his buddies and comes home five hours later saying he was visiting his grandmother, you know you're not far off the mark. Does he get defensive when you ask simple questions? Does he over explain himself when you ask what he's up to?

Empty Inbox
This is tricky. While snooping through his phone is not the best idea, and we certainly don't recommend the ways of crazy ex-girlfriend rummaging, a long term relationship in which a couple either lives together or spends a lot of time together presents frequent occasions of taking care of each others' personal things. Chances are, if you're not left alone with his Blackberry at some point, you'll catch more than a few glances at him texting and making calls. Keep in mind that this is certainly not always the case but if you notice that his text inbox and outbox are always empty when you know he texts 24/7, there may be room for concern. Why delete every single text both sent and received unless you don't want anyone to see them? 

Distance
A lackluster attitude towards the relationship and doing things together is a classic tell tale sign that something is not right. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is seeing someone behind your back, but it definitely suggests a loss of interest in pursuing you. First consider the possible contributing factors to his lax demeanor; is there a high stress? Is he working a lot more? Family conflicts? Everyone deals with bumps in the road differently but if you're getting the sense that he's slowly letting you go and not bothering to be up front, your inner monologue is only going to drive you over the cliff if you don't nip this missed connection in the bud.


Image from MorgueFile

Courtney Gilmour
		About the author:
		Courtney is a published writer, stand-up comic, and shameless Internet enthusiast. She holds a double bachelors degree in English Literature and Communication Media Studies, specializing in semiotic theory, however she doesn't get Shakespeare and has never won a game of Scrabble. Currently she lives in Toronto and works as a writer for WOMAN.CA.
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