Can A Long-Distance Relationship Work For You?

Immediately, my mind screams HECK NO—after all, so much of a relationship is about intimacy and being physically close to someone—but in today’s world ofSkype, Facebook, and instant messaging, what is long-distance anymore, anyway?

While vacationing in Cuba, a girl in my graduate program hooked up with a guy from Malta. It was supposed to be a no-strings-attached thing, but it ended up being more than that. Now, she spends her summers in Malta while he makes month-long visits to Toronto so the two can spend time together.

One of my professors in school was happily married to another professor who taught at Columbia University in New York. Each of them had an apartment and a life in their respective cities (Toronto and New York) but the two didn’t really “live” together on a full-time basis. He’d take long vacations to Toronto and she’d travel to New York for weekends and Spring Break.

My cousin is married to a pilot, and although the two share the same home, sometimes, he’s away on duty for weeks at a time, and their relationship goes through spurts of long-distance phases. My cousin expresses to me that while it’s hard for the couple to be apart, when her husband is away she gets time to reconnect with herself. When their relationship switches gears from a live-in romance to a long-distance one, she has more time to think of herself. When her husband returns, it makes their time together special, as they never know when he’ll be summoned for another three-week venture in another part of the world.

If you're considering doing the long-distance thing, my best advice would be to go with your gut. If you have a hunch it won’t work, it probably won’t, but if you feel it was meant to be, it could work, as my friends and family have shown me.

Trust is key. Without it, your relationship, be it long-distance or not, has no chance of surviving. With your partner not physically being close, it is tough to keep your trust intact. If he or she doesn't call when they say they will, or reply to e-mails in a timely fashion, you're left to wonder, 'well, what ELSE are they doing if not making the call or writing me back?'

Additionally, If you have a history of being a jealous person, or if trust does not come easy to you, a long-distance relationship may not be the wisest choice. Relationships are difficult no matter what, but by adding a new layer of difficulty, a long-distance between you and your partner, you're only adding to the pre-existing stresses of a regular romantic union.

Also, remember to discuss your options with your partner. Maybe the two of you are in an open, non-committed relationship while your apart, but you promise to stay connected to one another.

Or maybe the two of you decide to be monogamous, so you don’t sleep with anyone else and then have a three-day marathon à la Josh Josh Hartnett and Shannyn Sossamon in Forty Days and Forty Nights.

Either way, it’s important to communicate your expectations with your partner to avoid any hard feelings. If this sounds too difficult, perhaps the long-distance thing isn’t for you. After all, do you really want to spend the best years of your life committed to someone you can’t be with? If the two of you are truly meant to be, the time will come.

Image from MorgueFile

Amanda Cosco
		About the author:
		Amanda Cosco is a freelance writer. The city is her muse.  After completing a master’s degree in English Literature at Ryerson University in Toronto, Amanda packed up her life and moved to the city in pursuit of jazz, sex, and soup. Amanda completed her bachelor of arts at York University, where she had one foot in literary studies and one foot in journalism, earning her a double-major in English and professional writing. Amanda has presented her scholarly work at academic at conferences across Toronto, and her research on the metaphor of hunger in women’s fiction has received over $30,000 in grants and prizes. With her pen name, Lady Medusa, Amanda has left her digital footprints all over the internet. Currently, she’s blogging for several social media websites, and composing her first book of poetry, entitled "Autobiography of Skin. Follow her on Twitter @ladymspeaks
	Read More >>