Why He Won’t Say The “G” Word
So, you’ve had your first date, your first kiss, and now you’re in the middle of what feels like the longest first fight ever - all because he won’t call you his girlfriend.You’ve been going through all the motions of a relationship for months, but still he can’t utter the word. Are you missing something? What’s his deal?
Here are some reasons why he won’t introduce you as his girlfriend:
Because you’re not - If the line between friendship and romance is fuzzy, then he has no reason to call you his girlfriend. Unofficial ‘friendlationships’ leave so much room for things to get blurry that labels and titles should actually be the least of your concerns. Casual hangouts that lead to other benefits do not necessarily land you in the ‘girlfriend’ category if neither of you have been up front about your expectations. Don’t assume a status that you wish for but doesn’t exist
Because that’s not what he wants - If you knew that he didn’t want a girlfriend to begin with and you’re trying to change his mind, good luck. The idea that something can come from nothing when only one party is fully invested is a long shot. Don’t kid yourself. There’s a chance that if you go with the flow and just have fun, he will recognize that you are a couple and be able to acknowledge it accordingly. Again, though, don’t hold your breath.
Because your relationship standards are too low - This may sound harsh but ask yourself, why are you okay with giving someone the perks of a girlfriend without the official relationship? If the conventions of it are what you truly want, then that’s what you should be looking for without settling for less. Expect to get what you want. You’re giving everything away for free, why should you get an upgrade from fling to steady romance?
Because you push the issue - Women tend to think that reiterating their stance will work in their favor. You know, when things are going smoothly and there’s nothing but sunshine on the horizon, you feel the need to remind him that since you’re acting like a couple he might consider being a couple. After he ignores the comment, you decide to really drive your point home by bringing it up every time you talk. Bad idea. In many cases the constant pressure and circular arguments regarding the relationship status are what zap all the fun out of being together. Soon enough the spark of magic turns into a chore, and you both end up miserable. Don’t fall prey to this useless method of resolution.
Because he has battle scars - The fact is, he’s been there and done that, and is reluctant to acknowledge your time together as what it really is because he doesn’t want to be wrong again. It’s not because he’s stupid. Well, maybe he’s stupid, but we’ll consider that unrelated. Surely you know what it’s like to be out on the front lines of love and shot down mercilessly. So does he. If he needs to ease his way into the relationship by dismissing a few formalities along the way, open up your mind a little bit and let the ‘girlfriend’ thing slide. That is, if you think he’s worth it!
 Courtney Gilmour | |
| About the author: | |
Courtney is a published writer, stand-up comic, and shameless Internet enthusiast. She holds a double bachelors degree in English Literature and Communication Media Studies, specializing in semiotic theory, however she doesn't get Shakespeare and has never won a game of Scrabble. Currently she lives in Toronto and works as a writer for WOMAN.CA. | |
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