Cherish where life is now
It was 7:51 a.m. on Friday, January 12, 2007 in the middle of rush hour in a crowded Washington DC Metro Station when the musician pulled out his violin and began to play. He played six pieces by Bach over the next 43 minutes and 1,097 people passed by. Most seemed to be in a hurry to get to work and walked by without even glancing. Some dropped a few coins in the man's violin case while they hurried by. Six people stopped to listen for a while. When he was done, there was no applause and no recognition. He had collected $32.
What those passerbyers did not know was that violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best violinists in the world. Two days before he had sold out a theater in Boston where seats went for $100 a piece. He played complicated pieces on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. This social experiment was coordinated by the Washington Post about perception, taste and people's priorities. The question they asked: In a banal setting at an inconvenient time, would beauty transcend?
Why would so few people stop to admire such beauty when they are presented with it? There is beauty everywhere if we stop to look. Are many of us just passing up opportunities to bring more beauty and joy into our lives? We are in a hurry and stressed and sowho has time to smell those roses I spent six hours pruning on Saturday?
I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Barbara Fredrickson, a professor and researcher who studies positive emotions, and author of Positivity: Groundbreaking Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions, Overcome Negativity, and Thrive. She revealed how positive emotions can tip the scales toward a life of flourishing. The one thing that is most interesting about her research is that while we often think that positive emotions are typically fleeting, just to be enjoyed in the moment, she discovered that positive emotions actually build psychological, physical and social resources. In other words, if we focus on bringing more opportunities for positive emotion into our day everyday, over time we will build resilience and be happier.
Stopping to enjoy life's simple pleasures is known as savoring' which has been scientifically studied. In his book Savoring, Fred Bryant shares ways we can savor that enhances the effect of positive events on positive feelings. Bryant's work also suggests that we can savor events in our lives many ways including savoring a positive event before it happens by dreaming or preparing for it; we can be more mindful in the moment to savor the positive event as it is happening; and we can savor a positive event by reminiscing about it. I always keep pictures of my travels on my wall so I can savor my family trips over and over again.
The story of the violinist made me think of something that happened to me that changed my life. Many years ago, when my youngest daughter Claire was about two years old, she went through a time when she was getting up every night in the middle of the night because she was scared. Now when Claire crawls into bed with you, she doesn't just nicely go to sleepnoshe kicks and punches like she's enacting some sort of warrior dance in her sleep. Tim, my husband, actually does quite an excellent dramatization of it including drop kicks and elbow stabs. For one night, it's tolerable, because you can catch up on sleep the following night. After five or six days of Claire's nightly kung fu, we were getting exhausted. Both Tim and I were cranky due to lack of sleep and it seemed like it was never going to come to an end! We tried everything to get her to sleep in her own bed, but nothing worked.
One day, while collecting the mail on my front porch, I ran into my neighbour, Kathy. She asked me how I was doing and I told her about my problems with Claire. I am at the end of my rope! I said. Since she has two older boys of her own, I solicited her advice. Kathy, what should we do? I asked.
She looked at me and saidCherish it.
Now at first I didn't understand. What do you mean cherish it? I'm exhausted. I responded.
She said, againCherish it because you know my boys don't come into my bed anymore. They're older now and I wish so desperately that I could hold their little warm bodies close to me again.
And it was like a lightening bolt hit me. She was right. To hold your beautiful baby in your arms is one of the sweetest most loving things in the world and I had an opportunity to do that every night.
So that night, when Claire came into my bed, I held her tight. I put her tiny little hand in my hand and I caressed it and kissed it. I marveled at how lucky I was to have this lovely child snuggled up so close to me and I whispered thank you for all of the wonderful things I had in my life.
Now that she's eight years old, she rarely comes into my room anymore. But when she does, I cherish her visits even more - never knowing if that will be my last. She's no concert violinist but her presence is like a symphony to me - if I choose to stop and listen.
By Louisa Jewell
 Louisa Jewell | |
| About the author: | |
I am the co-founder of www.whydidyougo.com and a consultant, facilitator and speaker. I work with organizations and leaders to create positive work environments that promote higher levels of performance and well-being. I am a positive psychology specialist and have just recently graduated from the ground-breaking Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. The MAPP program is led by renowned psychologist, Martin Seligman and is the first masters program in the world that offers in-depth study of the science of human flourishing which I use with my organizational clients. | |
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