Tocophobia: The Fear of Childbirth and Pregnancy

Pregnancy. Even the word makes me wiggle in my seat. I've never liked it, and fear I never will. What's worse is that I feel like I'm sailing this boat alone. Baby bumps make me shiver, and (surprise surprise) I'm condemned for that reason.

I never coo with delight when I see a mother-to-be hobble past on the sidewalk. My friends, however, will gush, and giggle, smiling softly with anticipation and envy, then look over at me and shake their heads with disapproval. What. I'll contest, I was sneering at something else, I swear...
Yes, creating life is a beautiful thing, this I can admit. Babies are cute and cuddly too. And, I'll admit that the sex part? We'll it's not that bad either. It's what happens between the sex and the arrival of baby that I can't figure out.

I have felt like this for years, despite the fact that like most everyone else, I too was carted about in my mother's belly like a hippo in a handbag. Even when my mother was pregnant with my kid sister, every 9-year-old's dream, I had little interest in touching the belly, seeing the belly, knowing anything about the massive, stretch-marked belly and I was very clear on that from the get go.

The opening credits for TLC's "A Baby Story" make me squirm, and I close my eyes through child birthing scenes in even the most G-rated films.

Because of this, I have always felt alienated, set apart from my baby-crazy girlfriends. Is there something wrong with me?

Unsatisfied with just being known as the "frigid" friend, I set out to unearth my predicament. So, after hours of research, a chat with some girlfriends, and some serious wikipedia time, I have discovered that I may in fact be a Tocophobic.

Tocophobiais an aversion to the general state of pregnancy and the act of childbirth. Many women who suffer with anxiety are also prone to Tocophobia. Many women are born with it, and many women develop it after having a child of their own. It is created by the subconscious as a protective mechanism, and is usually the product of a suppressed catalytic memory or event.

Some doctors even argue that failure to breast feed your child can result in Tocophobia! Who knew!?

So next time you point at a full-term mom-to-be in a Gap Maternity tracksuit and beam, don't fault me, or my kind, for recoiling in disgust. We're human. We like moms. We like kids. We want kids! We do. We're just different than you, and if you don't like it, you can call my surrogate. 

Carli Mia
		About the author:
		Carli Mia, also known as Carli Rothman, also known as Carli Stephens, also known as Carli Mia Stephens Rothman, is a prairie-girl to the core, and a graduate of the Ryerson School of Journalism. She currently lives in downtown Toronto, and acts as the Director of Content for WOMAN.ca!
	Read More >>