With Friends Like These...

How To Know if You're Dealing With a Frenemy

Good friends are hard to find. Sadly, however, frenemies (friends + enemies) are a dime a dozen. You know the kind; she's sweet and funny, and great to hang out with but only sometimes.

You see them in movies and on TV, but there might also Mean Girls and Pretty Little Liars in your real life - and they're ones to watch out for.

It's not always easy to tell a friend from a frenemy, but here are five indicators that your BFF is really just a big-fat-foe.

1. If She's Jealous of You
Friends should be happy for friends when friends find happiness. Woof, it's a mouthful, but it's true. So, you just find out that you've been promoted at work, or maybe that cute guy from the gym finally asks for your number. Of course, you want to share the good news with your girl, but rather than being happy for you, she just seems annoyed, or distracted, or finds some way to rain on your parade. She'll tell you that your new position doesn't pay enough, or that the guy from the weight room actually seems a bit light in the loafers, when you get to know him. It seems like she'll say just about anything to take your smile and flip it.

2. If She Treats You Like a Therapist
Lately you've been noticing that you're relationship has become extremely one-sided. Every time you meet for coffee, you spend the entire time listening to her problems; her breakup; her career qualms; her family issues. Sure, you want to be a good friend and lend an open ear, but you're starting to get the feeling that she enjoys the sound of her own voice more than the presence of your company. If you're having trouble remembering the last time you got a word in, maybe it's time you found a new bestie, and sent your old one the bill for your time.

3. If She's a Back-Talker
Nothing is worse than a gossipy friend. The kind of girl who thinks Perez Hilton is the holy gospel truth. It's awful, and not to mention awkward, to sit there and listen to your girlfriend rant about how fat your other friend got over the holidays, or to hear her speculate as to weather or not the girl at the next table has her boobs done. What's worse is, no matter how good a friend she appears to be, you're left to wonder what she's saying about you when you're not around. No one is safe when you're dealing with a bad-mouther like this, and the best way to avoid a secret tongue lashing is to steer clear of those types of people all together.

4. If You Get The Feeling She Has Other (Fr)Enemies
Have you ever walked into a room and had the feeling that you're not exactly welcome, only to realize a second later that it's her that they're sneering at? As soon as the moment of relief passes (fewf, at least it wasn't you) you're left with the horror of knowing that you brought the grenade to the party. You are who you associate with, and if she's got a bad reputation, odds are you will too. If she's managed to blow off (or be blown off by) other people you know, take that as an indicator that she might be trouble. No need to jeopardize your social status just to hang out with someone you don't actually like.

5. If You Cringe When She Calls
Caller I.D. is a miraculous thing. For many of us, we can't remember life without it! How did we ever manage to answer the phone without knowing who was on the other end? But if your friend's name flashing across your phone causes you wince and hit ignore, it's a pretty clear sign that she's more enemy than friend. Similarly, if you find yourself talking to her answering machine more often than you actually talk to her, you might have a Grade A screener on your hands. She's unreliable and only makes herself available when it's convenient for her. And who needs a selfish friend like that?

Carli Mia
		About the author:
		Carli Mia, also known as Carli Rothman, also known as Carli Stephens, also known as Carli Mia Stephens Rothman, is a prairie-girl to the core, and a graduate of the Ryerson School of Journalism. She currently lives in downtown Toronto, and acts as the Director of Content for WOMAN.ca!
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