My Friend Says

She is up and down these days.  Mainly down.  She is out of work, broke, lonely and feeling really low.  She desperately wants to work.  Yet she does not believe she will be hired.  She feels her self-confidence is depleted. 

I Say

One day at a time.  

It is important to rebuild self-esteem, without which it's hard to have a positive outlook on life.  In my practice, I encourage my clients to a pick goal they can realistically achieve in order to feel the reward of success.  For example, I suggested that everyday she spend two hours looking for a job.  Even if that is all my friend does that day, knowing that she was able to complete that task will reward her with feelings of competence and begin to restore confidence so that she can work on her next goal.  The key is to start off with small, doable goals.  As confidence rebuilds, she will feel empowered to face greater challenges.  I advise my friend to be patient and not expect drastic changes overnight.  However, if she commits to following through on the simple goals she creates for herself, she will surely be encouraged by her progress.

One way to achieve the greater end goal is by making a list of all the small tasks that are necessary in order for the final one to be met.  For example, if the end goal is to have a job at a PR firm, the list might include some of these tasks: prepare a resume, have someone in PR review the resume, spread the word to family and friends, collect a list of all contacts related or in the field, send out resumes, read all publications from firms I'd like to work for, prepare interview outfit, land interview, set a good impression, be hired by So & So.  Actually writing this out may seem obvious, but don't doubt the power of visualizing how you will get from A to B and the satisfaction derived from checking off the goals you have completed.

Sometimes things appear easier said then done. Take it one step at a time and don't give up, persistence will lead to success.

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Other 'My Friend Says':

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Hello WOMAN.ca!

Katia Tallarico, Relationships 2.0
		About the author:
		Katia Aurora Tallarico, born and raised in Toronto, currently lives in Manhattan. As an undergraduate at McGill University, she lived in Montreal where she studied Psychology and later pursued a graduate degree in Counseling Psychology at Columbia University in New York City. Katia integrates both Western and Eastern approaches to her mental health practice and credits her own well-being to a dedicated meditation and yoga practice. She has worked servicing chronically mentally ill adults in lower Manhattan and currently works as a Mental Health Counselor with foster children in the South Bronx. In addition, Katia is an active supporter and Young Benefactor Committee member of Free Arts NYC (www.freeartsnyc.org).
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