Tips On How To Handle Bridesmaid Duty

Standing up in a friend's wedding is a momentous occasion, and being asked to participate is an honor, but let's face it - at first, bridesmaid duty sounds about as fun as jury duty. The responsibilities to follow once the novelty of the engagement has worn off can be daunting and tedious, and at times you may feel overwhelmed. The most important thing for you to focus on is the bride and her well-being. Is she happy with the progress being made? Does she feel stressed? In order to be there for your friend on her big day, you have to be prepared to be on call at all times. Here are some tips:

Show appreciation
Make it known that you feel privileged to be a part of the planning process, that you're excited to help her out in any way you can. The bride-to-be is usually apprehensive about the flurry of events ahead and is in dire need of support and, of course, enthusiasm. Let her know that you're not only there for her when she needs you but that it's your pleasure to be.    

Be flexible 
As a bridesmaid, your duties begin as soon as you are extended the invitation to join in the fun. Unlike groomsmen, who basically don't start doing anything major until a week or two before the wedding, the bridesmaids are required to make plenty of sacrifices with their time over the course of a year. Ideally, the plan of action will be solidified early on to be considerate of everyone's schedules. Trying to coordinate a series of events with a group of 5-8 girls is tough work and doesn't always work in everyone's favor in terms of convenience. Do your best to make yourself available as often as possible.  

Rock the dress 
Ah, the proverbial bridesmaid nightmare. Between colour selection, style, fitting, and ordering, there are a lot of fine details that go in to the bridesmaid dress. It's true that there are quite a collection of fashion disasters out there, simply Google 'bridesmaid dresses' and you can see for yourself. This is largely due to lack of availability, cost, and trying to accommodate various body types. You can't please everyone. In recent years, however, bridesmaid dresses have really evolved and there are some elegant picks at affordable prices. No matter what you end up with, though, remember that it's not about you and it is your responsibility to accept the bride's choices. If you have to, grin and bear it. To take it a step further    

Go the extra mile 
Especially if you're on the long distance list. Living away all the action can be discouraging and make you feel out of the loop. Don't let yourself fall behind. E-mailing the other bridesmaids on a regular basis will keep you up to date on the wedding, and weighing in on the status of the bride will give you a heads up on what's expected of you next. The last thing you want is for everyone to think that you're unwilling to get involved, so if you have ideas to contribute don't be afraid to speak up! Little details here and there get lost along the way in the midst of all the chaos, so try compiling a list of tasks you can take care of on your end. You will feel productive and the rest of the ladies will appreciate your efforts.

Orchestrate 
Nothing ever gets done if each member of a group assumes that someone else will take initiative. Bridal showers, gifts, the bachelorette party, decorations - these are all elements of the wedding that need advance planning, so offer to take the plunge and get a head start. Organize a shower, come up with a theme and assign duties to the other bridesmaids. Once again, constant communication will alleviate stress and also prevent your eagerness from coming across as bossy or overbearing.  Do your part and participate and all will run smoothly.

Courtney Gilmour
		About the author:
		Courtney is a published writer, stand-up comic, and shameless Internet enthusiast. She holds a double bachelors degree in English Literature and Communication Media Studies, specializing in semiotic theory, however she doesn't get Shakespeare and has never won a game of Scrabble. Currently she lives in Toronto and works as a writer for WOMAN.CA.
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